SQUEEEEE (No, I Haven't Tested)

Well, after a huge (and really freaking stupid) argument with hubs last night, we decided we'll be testing tomorrow. We wanted to do it at a time when we'd both be free for a while to go through whatever emotions we needed to, whether they be sadness or elation, and when we could be there for each other. Andy's been working 50+ hour weeks, and I have to work Sunday, so we thought Saturday would be the best time.

I've figured out something funny about pregnancy this IVF cycle. And that is.. there's absolutely no point in analyzing symptoms!

I've had people say they felt nothing at all. Some say they felt AF was coming. Some felt random new things. There's just no way to tell what pregnancy will be like for me. I still have this.. inherent fear that I'll never see two lines, but thats the only thing keeping me from being pumped for the test. I have no reason to think it WON'T be positive except that I'm scared. Or that I'm too overweight. But otherwise nothing.

And for the record, I'm going to list my symptoms:

- Sore boobs. This happens to me every month. But I have them now, too.
- Lack of any real cramps. I get stuff occasionally but nothing that makes me feel like AF is here (yes, progesterone keeps AF away, but last time I still felt like she was coming for an entire week because I normally get it on day 11 or 13, and I was on progesterone until day 17 and my body was like "DO NOT WANT LINING!"
- Serious intestinal difficulties. Enough said.
- Headaches
- Burning ears
- Vivid/bad/crazy dreams
- No food sounds good
- Pain/Pulling in my ute at night

So there you have it. The comprehensive list. So that way I have it and I can go back and look if I have to do another cycle. And I can say "Dammit, I had one cycle with cramps, one without.. I guess it doesn't really mean anything". Or "Last time I was pregnant I felt....."

So we'll see. Testing when hubs gets home from work. It'll be in the evening, but at 10dp6dt (16dpo) it shouldn't matter. At this point I am nervous, but.. there's no way to know. There's nothing to say it didn't work. And... I sorta feel like it did. But we'll see.

Tonight I'm going to dinner at a new restaurant with my friend and my mom. That should keep me occupied a while (as a note, I just looked at their menu and it made me feel sick but it's totally not their fault). Thank you friend and mom! YAY!

So now I'm off to try to find food that doesn't make my stomach unhappy. But not before a 3rd bathroom trip today. I've only been up 4 hours :(

Update: Mission to find non-stomach-upset foods failed. I just sent A this text: "I just had a moment of 'if I chew this grilled cheese one more time I am going to vomit all over the place'". For the record, I stopped chewing for a few seconds, swallowed, drank sprite, sat around, and then was able to finish it. I can't let a grilled cheese go to waste.