((#$(*%$(*@)($@#$)(!@^$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel pretty much nothing, and it's starting to make me nervous. I have an occasional cramp, an occasional shooting pain in a boob, an occasional stomach turn, and an occasional mood swing.Most of this is par for the course. I'm scared. I also took my temp this morning, which I knew would be a bad idea since I'm on all sorts of hormonal medications. It was about 97.1. The last time I charted an entire month, my coverline was 96.4. So that's good. But.. it's the only day I charted this month so it tells me absolutely nothing, except "why isn't it higher?".

I am so scared that this cycle didn't work, and I just want to know. I wish Andy would let me take a test. I want to throw up I'm so upset. I've been so positive, but the further along I get with no symptoms the more scared I get. And why isn't my temp higher? I'm on freaking endometrin! I hate this. I hate it I hate it I hate it. I want this baby. THIS baby. I deserve for this to happen for us. I've been through too much. And now I'm whining. *sigh*. I want to kill IF in its face.

Update (because sometimes it takes a voice of reason): I called my dad, who is not only the best dad ever, but also a genius (serious, his IQ says so). he also happens to be a microbiologist. He told me that you just can't trust biology. Life does what it wants to do, and you can't judge by one little thing here and there. Especially 1 random temperature. And then I looked back at my last charting cycle which was in January. My highest temp was 97.2. Second highest 96.99. That was on a clearly ovulatory cycle. With a pretty much 10 day lp, I think if it were January and I was on day 13 looking at a 97.1 I'd be freaking excited. I have low temps. It just is. I'm also on estrogen, which is the hormone that LOWERS your bbt in the follicular phase. AND.. I read that endometrin goes straight to your ute and doesn't affect your temp. So with all that said.. I could be OK. I still don't feel anything except this damn headache, and my dad still says it worked. He said that last time, too, but he doesn't lie to me. He really thinks that. And he really thinks I can't count this cycle out because of 1 temp. ONE. I mean.. geez maybe my pre-O temps were in the 95s! (it's happened before). So the bottom line it.. I guess it's still possible. I'm still terrified, but I cant change it now. I want to know so I can plan. I don't want to wait until October to cycle again. I want this baby. So I guess we'll see.