Symptoms

I have none. I know this is normal. I do... but I can't make myself believe it. I get crampy, sure, but that's not a symptom. I'm 5dp3dt right now. I can't believe I've made it this far without testing. And I have 6 more days to go. I see people online all the time talk about how they had no indication whatsoever that they were pregnant before the test. I know it's possible, and that really, symptoms prior is extremely unlikely since it takes a certain amount of HCG before your body can react. But.. the illogical part of me just wants something to cling to. I googled again last night and saw that someone heard from her Shady Grove doctor that a SET on day 3 is a 30% chance. My baby is a fighter, though, and I hope it's more. SGFC has a blastocyst eSET clinical pregnancy rate of oer 61%. Since we're working under the assumption that this little one would have made it to blast had we given it the opportunity, that makes my chances closer to 61%. Yes, I don't know that, and just because the other one did doesn't mean this one will. But it makes me happy to think that since it was perfect on day 3. And I like hope.

Update: Everything south of the border hurts. My ovaries, the spot where my legs meet my body, my hip bones, my pelvic bones waaayyy down like... yeah. I've got pokes ad prods above my pubic bone, aches when I cough. Geez. I'm nervous, because the ovary pain I get every month, and I think "Well it happens every month when I'm NOT pregnant, so maybe it means I'm not" but... it really hs been crazy today. It feels like everything in there is stretching out. I hope it is. I keep seeing people who got pregnant on a day 3 transfer of 2, and I keep thinking "Well if they'd only transferred that one, they'd still be pregnant, so it can happen!" I wish I could turn off my brain. And I want to test, but I will not use my lucky test. I won't!

I talked to Andy about why we were waiting until Tuesday, and I totally forgot! We have a lucky test! We have the third FRER from a 3-test box. The first one was a +, and the owner has a 6 month old baby girl. The second was a + and the owner has a 3 month old baby girl. She gave me the third and we've been saving it for our IVF cycle. We only have 1, and we didn't want to "waste" it by taking it early, and since 14DPO is really the most likely to get a +, we're waiting until 14DPO. So that was the reasoning I totally forgot. I hope this little test isn't disappointed. I hope it's a + like its buddies. And now, a word for my little one.

Dear Beeb,

Mommy and Daddy love you so much. We've prayed about you for so long, and wished and hoped and dreamed. I kiss your picture every day. I'm so proud of you already. Daddy is already planning on putting an app on his new phone to track your progress. Your picture is his wallpaper. Grandma and Grandpa have you saved on their computer, too. There is so much love in this world for you already. Last night I asked God, with all of my power and my being, to please hold you and keep you safe and let you grow and be healthy. I want you more than I've ever wanted anything in my entire life. I know you're a fighter and you're strong and already so perfect. We're rooting for you out here, little one. And if there's anything I can do to convince you to stick around, let me know and I'll do it. I've got a whole box of books to read to you, and we have to awesome cats I think you'll like. You have 4 awesome grandparents tha can't wait to meet you, and will spoil you rotten. I'm going to get a rocking chair to hold you and rock and sing you to sleep like my mom used to do to me. And daddy's got so much to teach you about baseball and he just can't wait. I don't know if you're listening, but since you're in my body I like to think you can feel how I'm feeling. And I love you, and daddy loves you, and we want to meet you and hold you in our arms in 8 months. So please stay in there little one. Mommy loves you.

Love,
Mom