Awkward

I'm having one of "those" days today. I walked downstairs to go to a going away party for a coworker. Recently returned coworker with a 3 month old was showing me and coworker with a 6 month old (both first try babies) a video of her little one. It was cute. But the conversation quickly turned to video monitors, and things their kids do. 3 Month old turned towards 6 month old in the midst of the conversation, and I was left to stand there feeling like a lonely, bodily-broken jerk. My infertility has officially pushed me into "Weird girl who doesn't have anything to talk about because she doesn't have kids" category.

Shortly thereafter, coworker #3, who I've mentioned before, saved me. She knew I was going through IVF and asked how it was. I told her it didn't work, and she understood. She really understood, because she is the mother of a 2.5 year old beautiful baby boy through adoption, because after 2 miscarriages, and being told she wouldn't conceive without IVF, she moved to international adoption. She knows the pain and heartbreak of infertility. She crossed her fingers for me and told me to keep her posted on cycle #2, and I will, because she knows, and because she KNOWS.. she cares. Not in a "My friend wants a baby" way. In a "I understand because I've BEEN there" way. So I sent her a little note to say thank you for talking with me. I hope it doesn't offend her, but it means a lot when she asks me how things are going because she's gone through the testing and the.. wanting a baby so badly and seeing everyone else get pregnant. I'm just glad to have her around.

Today is pill #2 day. I still haven't heard from the doctor and, therefore, do not have a plan. Hopefully I will get one before the weekend because I don't want to repeat cycle #1, and this is stressing me out already. I'm going to calm down and try to have a nice, worry-free weekend. I'm taking my car to the shop, and I'm not excited about that. I'll be OK if I can get out of there spending less than $300, but I guess I will find out then. I'm just glad I can afford to get my car fixed these days when I need to. I do have things to be thankful for right now. Hopefully soon one of them will be a healthy pregnancy!