Progress!

I finally received a call from my nurse. We have a plan! I don't know what it is yet, but she did give me my dates:

6/6 - Last BCP
6/7 - Baseline
6/10 - Start stims
6/21 - Tentative Retrieval!

I can't believe it's coming up so fast. I was expecting retrieval to be the next week for some reason, but looking at it now it seems correct. I want to tell someone, but I'm sticking to my guns about not revealing the details this time. I'm also hoping I don't get sick for this one. I can't help but wonder if being incredibly sick during retrieval and transfer had a negative impact on my body and implantation. I have had a few "down" days but I feel generally good about this cycle. I definitely feel like it's going to be different, and I'm much less stressed already.

I've been doing well on Weight Watchers and I still managed to gain weight this morning. I think I'm retaining water from the BCPs so I can't WAIT to be off of them because I'm really sticking to WW and there's no reason I should be gaining weight. I just have to push through it and hope the scale shows a loss on my official weigh-in day which is Sunday.

Getting good news about our payments has helped take some pressure off as well. I was anticipating putting $7-800 on a credit card for meds, but we now have so much in savings it'll probably be more like $200. Which is awesome. The less credit the better. I was able to pay off my car repairs, too.

I feel like I talk a lot about money, but with IVF, it's such a huge thing. I absolutely can't imagine how people who pay completely OOP deal. It's not easy to sacrifice and spend all of your savings, and know that what you're spending it on may not work. We had planned on buying a house since our credit has improved so much. We'd have easily enough for a down payment by the time our lease is up, but we're spending it all on IF treatments. And when we take our baby home spending this money will be forgotten in the blink of an eye. But having a failed cycle behind me makes me really think. Sometimes it just doesn't work, and you have to come up with thousands of dollars to cycle again. I'm so excited and so blessed to be moving on to another cycle so quickly. And to have as much support as I do from my family, my husband, my friends, and the girls I've met through IF boards who pick me up when I'm down.

I'm not sure if anyone reads this, or if anyone will stumble across it that's thinking about IVF. And I won't lie. It's hard. It's hard financially, emotionally, and physically. It's hard to get so excited to have your hopes dashed with a BFN. It takes a toll on relationships, and sometimes you feel alienated in a world where it seems like everyone can get pregnant at the drop of a hat. And I'm not at a point yet where I can say "Yep, it was all worth it". But I'm confident that one day I will be there. And I'm so glad I have the opportunity to try!