*SIGH*

Let's try this once more. Happy last bcp day to me. Take 4.

Yes, the nurse called late y esterday afternoon and told me they had to push me back two days. She was very apologetic - especially when I told her this had happened last time. There's no reason to be upset, I'm just excited, dammit! I'm ready to shove sharp objects into my belly! Now there's something you don't hear every day. So I start injects on Sunday now, with a tentative ER of Thursday, June 23. I was really hoping for a Friday so day 2 would not require sick time from work. We'll see what happens. She did say it's because my body looks good and ready and I'm one of the people they feel they can push back, whereas others have issues and need to go asap.

I had a sort of craptastic day yesterday emotionally. I just got really SCARED about this whole process. I read a post on the Bump about empty follicles so I googled. And I kept thinking "What if it happens again!?" I was trying to convince myself that I only got 6 eggs, not because my follicles were empty, but because I triggered at the wrong time. Because... I had a dominant follicle. Will I get one again? Will I have a 16mm on day 4? That's 32 on day 7!? So all my other follicles are too small? How can I make them grow evenly if we're on the same protocol? I'm trying to think through all these thing that can't be thought through. I'm not going to know until we get there. My nurse said I could email her a list of questions so I'm going to do that and hopefully it'll ease my fears a little. I just want this cycle to be better. I want it to work. I want my baby.

So I'm putting the list together today and hopefully I'll have something soon. I need to calm down. This doesn't have to turn out just like last time. People have better second cycles all the time. Plus I'm taking Co Q 10 which is supposed to protect the eggs, and I'm kicking ass on my diet. I had to drink caffeine today but I will otherwise be cutting it out.

So... back to positivity today. It's what I have to do. To keep my husband from being driven insane :D