Annoyances

Yesterday was an interesting day in the world of my (in)fertility. I'd sent a list of questions in to my nurse to go over with my doctor about the last cycle, and the responses I received weren't quite what I expected.

When I asked about the last cycle and how I thought some of the follicles weren't mature, they told me they retrieved every egg that was there and only 6 were in the fluid. That dominant follicles are uncommon but there's no way to prevent them. Now I'm no dummy. I've done my research and I'm incredibly scientific. By nature, every follicle has an egg. If they're immature, they don't separate from the follicle wall, and therefore would not be in the aspirated fluid. This answer was annoying, but I let it go. (Check out this blog for more info on empty follicles).

I then said I was nervous because last cycle I had so many "empty" follicles and it seemed like kind of a bad cycle. She said they didn't conssider it bad, and that they don't want a lot of eggs because of my "medical history". That they could stim me more, but they won't.

Are you kidding me?? You could but you won't? Yes, I have kidney disease, but that guy who specializes in it and works at the #2 nephrology hospital in the country cleared me for this. As did my high risk OB. So stop using it as an excuse. My mom says they're just trying to cover their butts. I don't know what I think.

As a side note, I'm extremely thankful that I ended up with 2 good looking embryos, and that we have a frozen embryo. But I don't feel that retrieving 5 mature eggs is ideal since there's no way to know how many will fertilize and grow and we do have male factor.

I went on to explain that we'd like a 5 day transfer if we have more than 1 embryo, and they basically said no. Not unless we have a bunch of them and they can't tell which is the best. The problem I have with that is that we had 2 embryos last time that looked exactly the same on day 3. One of them was frozen on day 5, and the other one stopped growing at some point. I wonder if they would have differentiated had we let them both grow to day 5! But no. Denied.

Finally, I asked what the success rate was on a SINGLE frozen embryo transfer. They said it's the same as fresh. According to their website, the FET success rates is in the 40s, and that's with more than 1, but the data only went through 2009, so I don't think they were using vitrification and I think it has gone up significantly since.

All in all I'm not happy. I love my nurse, and I feel like she really takes the time to get to know me, but I hate that I have absolutely no say in my care. It's not that I don't like my RE. I do, especially in person. And I know she's a doctor and has done this for many years. I just feel like my ideas aren't being considered at all, and I hope that changes.

My nurse did slip up a little. She said "We're going to get this to work for you. It's going to work this time". And I don't think they're supposed to say that, so she said "Er... we'll make sure you're OK" or something like that. Then she goes "I just have a really good feeling!". So that was pretty cool. I really like her and I hope that she's right.

I start stims on Sunday and Wednesday is my first follie check. I can't believe I'm this far already. My diet's been going VERY well. I'm not tracking today and I'm splurging because I've used almost no weekly points. I sort of like the idea of having a splurge day, but I don't think I should do it every week. I think taking it day by day will work best under most circumstances.

Oh, I'm pretty sure I dislocated a rib last night. It was pretty much the worst pain ever. My brother has a problem with a floating rib that slips out and pops up over another rib. That pretty much describes what mine felt like and I wouldn't be surprised if I had it as well. I'm 99% convinced that my body was designed as an experiment. And I still plan to grow a kidney out of my own stem cells if I need one one day. I'm destined to be the bionic woman. Sweet.