I've been having a hell of a day. Because Andy's car is in the shop he had to drive me to work and drop me off and then drive to work. We got in a huge argument on the way to work. I told him I was still trying to think of something relaxing we could do during the 2WW for a day and he responded with "Well I won't know the White Sox schedule by then". I blew up. I mean.. screaming at him. I eventually turned into a blubbering mess of "You care about baseball more than me! You don't know how hard this is 'cause you don't have to do shots or hormones or surgeries! What if it doesn't work? I don't want to do it again!!". He held me hand and told me I was the most important thing, and he was sorry he made me feel like I wasn't. He went into some details about why he likes to stay home so much that I won't get into, but it made sense and put things into perspective so I apologized for screaming. I was being really nasty. Have I mentioned that I HATE birth control pills? HATE THEM. Then I went on and on about how he was probably thinking about divorcing me but didn't want to tell me and one day he'd spring it on me because he doesn't like me anymore. He laughed out loud. Again. I hate birth control pills.
So I finally go into work, where I'll be until well past 7, and get into a conversation with coworker who has a 4 month old, and who knows every gory detail about IVF and my infertility. And she's talking about how she's busy at nights. And then she touches her boob and says "Oh they hurt so much. I hope I'm not pregnant! Well.. that's not true. I probably am not" with this look that says "but I could be, 'cause I'm fertile! And I'd love it if I was!" I think there was a "you know?" thrown in there somewhere, at which point I wanted to say "No, I don't know. I've never been pregnant in any capacity. I don't have a sweet baby girl at home. I don't have the luxury of knowing I can get knocked up whenever I want. Despite the fact that you started trying months after us and now have a 4 month old". I wanted to scream. It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't know ALL the details about our IVF and how much I want a child.
After she left, hubs called to tell me he'd talk to the car guy about the repairs. The parts and labor for the alternator are $700, and he needs another $100 to fix an oil leak. So, as predicted, $800. Supposedly the brakes are fine, so that doesn't include that, and he can't get the engine light on to pull the code, so it doesn't include that either. So there goes our $800 in IVF credits. Straight into Andy's car. Plus, it won't be done until possibly Tuesday!!! This isn't going to work out well considering I have a doctor's appointment Monday night and my baseline ultrasound is Tuesday and I have to be there at 7am! So I have no idea what we're doing to do.
And the hormones on top of it are really making this a hell of a day. I need the weekend to come as soon as possible. At least tomorrow's Friday and then it's the weekend. We're getting into summer so there are a lot of fun things I can get into. I just have to get through today first!
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