Egg Retrieval

Well I'm back from my egg retrieval. 6 eggs. I cried my eyes out when she told me. I'd had 12 follicles... 22 antrals. And 6 eggs. I knew something was wrong with this cycle. I knew it from the beginning, but I was positive. I think that the answer is I responded too well. I think my follicles were growing way too fast, and by the time they caught it, they tried so hard to slow down the bigger ones that the little ones couldn't grow. I was on ganirelix from day 4 because my follies were too big. I had a 30mm by trigger, and I triggered with some over 22, and I think those all over-ripened and turned into cysts. There was so much ganirelix that the little ones couldn't grow. It was a mess.

I hope that's what happened because I don't want to be broken. I want it to be the doctor's fault. I'd never done a medicated cycle - not even clomid, so she had no idea what to expect from me. But even the lowest dose was too much. But again, I hope that's it. I hope it's not my body being broken. Because that's how I feel.

The doctor came in to see me and told me 6 was great. I think he was humoring me, but at the same time I honestly think he was positive. He said "15 would've been better, but 6 is good. It's plenty to work with. If you'd had 0 or 1 or 2 I might be worried, but 6 is good". So I guess he has a point. I have heard of women getting 6 eggs and having all 6 fertilize and make it to blast. My husband is confident, and my dad says we'll have 5. The doctor himself said "You might get to transfer with 4 to choose from!". So we'll see. I know I always said I'd be happy with 1 perfect to transfer and 2 or 3 to freeze. That's still possible. But even if we don't have any to freeze... most women don't. What we really want from an IVF is a perfect blast to put in and snuggle in. So I'm trying to think that that's definitely still possible. We were only going to put 1 in anyway, so what's the difference between 6 and 16? A bunch to freeze and possibly never use? I'd rather not have 10 embryos sitting there wasted, so.. maybe this is good.

I'll get the fert report tomorrow and I'm positive that we'll have a few good babies. I'd love a 5dt, but i know 3dt can work just fine. I want this to work so much.

In a weird positive spin, I thought of 2 things:

1. If we needed to do another fresh IVF, the doc would be able to adjust my protocol now that she has some idea of my response.
2. If we don't have any frozen embryos, we'll have all the money in the bank to pay for our meds and part of our deposit, so we wont' have to borrow too much money. I also have an entire box of menopur and a ganirelix shot left, so I wouldn't have to order that.

Andy also said he would be willing to do more IVF cycles. He'll do that 3rd insurance one if we get to that point. And that's good to know.

We're not there yet by any means. I have 6 eggs and maybe 6 soon-to-be embryos and one of those could very well turn into my beautiful, perfect baby. I'm focusing on this cycle and praying and praying for it to work. Andy says I WILL have a biological child and he says it will be this time. My dad says I'm going to get 5 embryos and this time will work. My mom says that too. So I'm choosing to be hopeful. As annoying as the phrase gets, it does only take 1. If it didn't, our plan wouldn't have been to put 1 in from day 1! So hopefully we'll still get that 1 beautiful blast, and maybe a brother or sister or two lol. Now I just have to get through to the fert report. Please, God, let it be good!!!!