Having a "long" cycle is driving me nuts. I put it in quotes so as not to send the ladies out there with longer or nonexistant cycles into fits of well-deserved rage. I guess a better way to put it is "I hate everyone that has a 28 day cycle and ovulates before day 14". I think I'm just nervous this cycle. I'm not convinced I've really been ovulating on the prednisone, and I just want to see signs that I am. I went through my cycles and it seems I generally get good CM starting on day 15-17 and O about 3 days later. This is really not bad, but I guess because I'm hyping this cycle up so much I feel like the last 12 days have been an eternity, and I keep hearing after day 18 your egg quality goes down! I am afraid that I'm hyping it up so much that I'm going to be extremely disappointed if I'm not pregnant. I was thinking about that this morning. I know chances aren't great that we'll get pregnant. But I keep telling myself that with good timing and stuff we could have a shot. And I know if I get my period I'll want to cry. And Andy will want to cry. But at least we know that if these next two months don't work we'll get to do the IVF and have a REAL, good shot.

Andy asked me the other day what our chances were this month. I told him probably about 5%. If a normal couple is 20%, and we have issues, I think that's fair. I suppose it might even be a little higher than that. But I'm an optimist so 5% is still a chance. People have overcome greater odds before. I also joined weight watchers again. They re-vamped their program to focus on different aspects of nutrition, so rather than counting calories their points system looks at carbs, fat, fiber, and protein. Higher carb foods are a higher points value now. But you also get more points. I put together this fantastic plan for a day of food that included:

• 2 egg whites, 3 slices of turkey bacon, 1 piece of toast with jelly and margarine spray, and a cup of grapes
• A tuna salad sandwich, 2 more egg whites, and some carrots with light ranch dip
• Cottage cheese and applesauce (do other people do this??)
• Broccoli chicken divan over rice
• Edy's ice cream

I mean.. that's a good amount of food! And it was within my points with 1 left over. I think I can definitely stick to a plan where I get to eat that much. It's just going to require cooking meals, measuirng things, and waking up with enough time to eat breakfast. But I want this baby, so I will do this. Plus I spent $50 on the plan. My friend who is also dealing with infertility (another negative - they started in June, and there is a chance her endo tumor is growing back :() is on the program as well so we're going to support each other. So while this cycle FEELs like it's been 4000 years, I know it hasn't, and I'm going to throw myself into eating better to get my mind off of it. We're on our way to IVF and I'm excited... what better motivator?