5 More Weeks

Holy. Crap. Did I just write that? Meaning I really only have 5 more weeks until I am a momma with a little baby girl!? No way. And that's, like.. the max time left! Can I just say how happy I am that we got the painting and steam cleaning done now? I mean there are still only 4000 things left to do, but if baby girl came today, we'd be pretty ready for her. After my work shower I now have almost everything I need, and I'm going to order my swing. I'm picking up the dresser and putting it together this weekend and getting things organized. So we're almost there. And A's work shower is tomorrow. I don't know if there will be gifts, but if there are we'll just be so well prepared. I bought the diaper pail even last weekend because it was on sale for $22 at Target.

One of my coworkers who had a baby in November brought me a boppy today, too. She said she got one for Christmas but already had one, so she just gave it to me! It was so sweet and it feels awesome to have everything but the swing and dresser! Ok I still need the bottle drying rack, but really... we can live without that for now I think.

I've always had this... timeline in my head about when it would be "ok" for E to be born, and 34 weeks was kind of my minimum for that. Not that I want her born early, but there are babies that go home with mom and dad at that point, so it felt like a pretty safe place to say "OK, if she has to come early, by this point she's got a good shot at being pretty healthy". I'm 34 weeks next week. And I'm honestly so proud of us. I'm proud of my body for finally doing what it's supposed to and nourishing and housing this human being. And I'm proud of E for soaking up all her nutrients and just being such a good baby and hitting her milestones. This wasn't "supposed" to happen. I fully expected to be on bed rest and have an IUGR baby. But I'm not and I don't, and I kind of want to throw my own body up in one of those big "HOORAH!" cheers. Because it has a terrible history of doing everything wrong, and it has picked a good thing to do right. I know it's early. I know we're 4 more weeks to full term. But when you come into it thinking things are going to go downhill pretty quickly, and you get here with what looks like a very bright future.. it's hard not to get excited.

I'm at a point where I'm starting to get excited about labor rather than dread it because I didn't know how Evie would do. I'm getting ready to pack my hospital bag and just be totally pumped to get to the hospital. I'm discussing with my mom about who I want with me when (and she told me she'd be completely OK if I needed to kick her out at some point, which is a huge relief to this momma's girl).

And among other things, today I'm grateful to God for my blessings. I haven't had an easy road in a lot of things regarding my health. And while I can complain about that until the cows come home, I do have one thing I always wanted that I was never sure of, and that's my baby girl. It sort of feels like I was just wondering if I'd ever get to feel my own baby moving around inside me. In a way I was mourning because I just didn't think my kidneys could handle it. And no one could have ever prepared me for how amazing that feeling is. Being here at 33 weeks is literally a dream come true.. an answered prayer.. and a miracle I spent a long time thinking would never happen. No matter what other issues I may have, I'm lucky and blessed to have this little one. And that she's healthy. And I think as sad and hard as life can get sometimes I have this to pray in thanks for every night. I'm in love... with 2 people. One that was a stranger for 23 years and one that we made. We made a person! And she is in every way a miracle. And I can't wait to see her.