Well I talked to Andy tonight about how I'm feeling about the Lexapro. I told him I was very uncomfortable with the idea of being on it while pregnant. At first he said "Well you just have to make a decision you can live with" and I was like "Uh, no. This is a WE thing. This is OUR baby so.. you're in this". I know what he meant was just that he knows I know more about how I'm feeling and about the risks, and he thinks I'm qualified to make the decision. I told him that I want to try the medication for as long as I can and see how I feel, but that unless I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT SURVIVE I want to come off of it when we start bcps. I will definitely stop taking it by week 20, because the risk of persistent pulmonary hypertension increases 6 times when the mother takes an SSRI during the last 20 weeks. I told my husband we might have to go back to dealing with high-anxiety me for 9 months, and he said "then we deal with it". And we'll know we have a medication to go back to as soon as we have the baby.

I feel good about this. I think the high risk OB will too. I'm not sure how the psychiatrist will but I'll discuss it with her in two weeks. I've definitely seen people taking it for short periods, so we'll see. But this is a decision that makes me feel good, so I'm going with it as long as it's ok to be on it for a short time. Who knows, it still may not work, but for now I'm feeling a little more hopeful. And I feel like I'm making the right choice for my baby. And... another point for IVF... total cycle control. I can be on the meds because I will know exactly when we're going forward. We'll still have to talk about that 1 cycle thing, but we can talk about that after we get my test results.