I just want to say that I have so much respect for those of you who don't normally ovulate in a regular fashion. I am currently on day 40 (the longest of my cycles since I started charting in 2008!) and I got bad cramps today so I think my period is coming over the next few days. I feel like it has been years rather than just over a month. I simply can't imagine having the stess of "Will I ovulate?" and "Will I ever get my period?" on top of "Am I ever going to get pregnant?". It's a horrible feeling having no idea what's going on in there... and I know some people who get 60+ day cycles, or need meds to start a period. You are all very strong women for enduring this sort of anxiety on a regular basis.
On another note, I've lost 6.2 pounds in the last two weeks according to our Biggest Loser at work challenge. That's 2.17% of my body weight, and I'm psyched. I have exactly 8.8 pounds to lost to my IVF weight, and I did weigh with clothes (and shoes!) on this morning. It still weighs 3.8 pounds heavier than home, but my clothes and shoes probably weigh close to that.
I called the high risk OB about medications for my OCD. I think she'll be the most knowledgeable and with information from her I can formulate a plan. I have to do something. I had a panic attack this morning with shortness of breath and everything. That's bad for baby too, so I guess we'll see what she says. The good thing about monitoring my cycles (I'm continuing to do so right now) is that I know exactly what's going on when, so there will be no "Oops! I'm pregnant, but still on this medication!" things happening. Andy wants to try one more natural cycle before the IVF, so I'm trying to figure that out. I can't make any decisions until after I talk to the OB, but we'll formulate a plan then. He came up to me and said "Can we have one more 'honey we need to do it RIGHT NOW' month before the IVF?". I'd like to accomodate if we can, 'cause I'd like to have one more natural cycle out of the way too. Just for peace of mind. I've been doing more research and I really don't want to take an SSRI, so I'm thinking about the whole Xanax as needed plan. It's category D, but because I know where I am in my cycle all the time, I can know when not to take it. At the same time, the SSRI would provide more long term benefit, and allow me to be less anxious, which is better for baby's cognitive and emotional development. I think if I wasn't so severely impacted (I almost couldn't work because of this morning's panic attack) I wouldn't even be considering it. I HATE MAKING THESE CHOICES. Chances are my baby would be fine.. but what if my baby is the 1 in 100 that has a problem from it or something? Then I have to live with that.
I just don't know what to do.. so instead of worrying I'm going to try to relax. I think tonight that might mean alcohol. Ahh, the (few/one) joys of NOT being pregnant.
*raises hand*
ReplyDeleteI'm one of the unlucky one's that unmedicated never get AF. Therefore, never ovulating either. So I have to start with 1) figure out how to get an ovulation and then go from there.
Consider having the fear you did about not ovulating, but KNOWING that it's a good possibility that you wont. And take those couple of days and turn that into weeks, or months. Yeah, it sucks VERY bad and leads to depression. I'm on CD36 with no O and am just about ready to take provera to end this insanity. Since we have been TTC I've had a few long cycles before I put them to an end.
This whole thing sucks, but we are united in the pain of IF.
I'm so excited for you and the weight loss, just one step closer to the magical weight.
In regards to holding off for a month, try and take DH's feelings into consideration. I don't think I did and I should have. I almost didn't at a very important crossroads, but made sure I wasn't making an emotional decision.
If any of your Drs say now is the time then talk to DH and let him know the expert opinions, but make sure he still has a say in the process.