I had my appointment with the Psychiatrist today. I'm actually very relieved. I was nervous because you never know how you'll feel with a psychiatrist but I felt extremely comfortable with her. We really only had 2 options for medications for me: Prozac and Lexapro. The side effects are supposed to be very similar. Although prozac has been studied better in pregnancy, and I took it previously and it worked well, I chose the Lexapro. She was very clear that there are some risks, but she said that in my case, it was very clear that the benefits far outweigh the risks. She said that if it was her, she would take it. She said she's very honest about things like that, and if she were me she would do it. Says a lot about my mental state, right!? 

Anyway, I'm very unhappy about being on anything. I talked with my husband and he thinks this is the right thing to do, but it's just not sitting well with me. The high risk OB did call me back but I couldn't get to the phone, so I haven't talked to her yet. I definitely want to hear her take on which drug is better, and if she says Prozac is better, I'll call the psychiatrist and switch it. There's a reason I'm kind of happy about the Lexapro though. Apparently it has a much shorter half-life and works much faster. People often see some benefit within 1-2 weeks and full benefit at 4 weeks... the other side of that coin is that it gets out of your system very quickly. So here's the thing. I don't know if this medication will even work for me, and I also have no idea when the IVF is going to be. So one option we do have is to try it, see if it works, and if I don't like it I can come off of it, or I can stop it when we start the IVF cycle since it'll be out of my system right away. At minimum, I could get a few months of relief, find a drug that works that I could start on as soon as the baby was born, and work on behavioral therapy in the mean time. Also, from my own research, the main concern is lung issues when the drug is taken after 20 weeks, so there is the possibility of taking it until then and weaning off. So there are some things to think and talk about. I don't feel comfortable taking the drug my whole pregnancy, but I don't feel comfortable having this kind of anxiety right now when I'm NOT going through the IVF, and if I can be comfortable, even for a few months, I want to. For right now, I'm just excited at the prospect of actually being normal again in a few weeks. Even if it's short-lived, I'll know there's a drug that works for me... that I can go back to after we have our beautiful baby.

All of that said (and still clearly undecided about what to do when IVF time comes), I still don't have my period. I thought I did. I got bloody CM (I know you wanted to know that). But then nothing. Very weird. I guess it'll be here tomorrow... which still gives me a really short LP, but hey, what else has been normal about this cycle? We'll see what happens. And I have my RE appointment in a week and a half, and I'll be finding out the results of my 24 hour urine next week, so I'll at least have some idea of how the prednisone is working and when we might look at IVF. Progress is being made.. now I just have some decisions to face. I know I absolutely do not want to take an SSRI the last 20 weeks of my pregnancy. I guess we'll see about beforehand. I'll talk to the OB and see what she thinks before finalizing anything. This whole thing sucks, but if nothing else, a few months of SSRI & behavioral therapy before IVF is better than nothing!