Today I am 6DPO. Baby could be implanting! This cycle has felt pretty much exactly the same as the last two except I didn't have any cramping at 4DPO which I did have both of those cycles. I didn't chart symptoms prior so I'm not sure. Part of me thinks the cramps might have been in my head, but I remember specifically last month not putting it down and then finally it just hurt so bad I realized it was for SURE cramping. Maybe it's a good sign that I didn't have it this month. Maybe it's nothing. I guess only time will tell. I've been pseudo-temping and it dipped today. It's a bit late for an estrogen surge, but I put 0 faith in "implantation dips" anyway. There's a part of me that is just incredibly excited and a part of me that keeps thinking "There's no way this is going to happen for us when we've had so many issues". The fact is, though, that through all our testing, the only problem we've found is Andy's low morph that isn't really very low. We have no reason to think we won't get pregnant or that the IUIs won't work. Yes, I'm overweight and seeing the endo about my thyroid but I'm ovulating. That doesn't mean there isn't something we don't see... a blocked tube or whatnot.. but we do really have a shot, so I don't know why I feel that way. I mean people get pregnant all the time, right? Would it be so crazy for us? I guess part of it stems from the fact that we had severe MFI just 6 months ago. We had absolutely 0 hope of conceiving... and it's hard to fathom that we're here today.. barely considered MFI.. and NOT by the new WHO standards. For that I must take time out and give all thanks and praise to God. I'm still terrified that my kidneys put me at higher risk for Pre-E and my BP is borderline as it is and m A1C was a bit high. Fasting glucose was 100% normal though. I'm kind of hoping the Endo gives me Met, too. I'm pretty sure (as in I will force her) to give me the synthroid. My RE said no to met since I'm already ovulating but I don't think she saw the bloodwork that I'm borderline IR so if I do get it, I'll ask her first, but I'm sure she'll OK it. so if I'm not pregnant now, next month I'll be

a) on synthroid/lower TSH
b) a few pounds lighter
c) doing an IUI

So those are some great things. But still.. we hope this is the month. I'm not testing though. I can't find cheapies anywhere.. the dollar store is always out. And I'm not using the magical test until I'm late. So if AF isn't here and I'm 13DPO I'm testing. I'd really love to be pregnant for Christmas and our Anniversary.

On another note, I had that sternum pain two nights ago. It was HORRID. I woke up out of a dead sleep and shot up in bed. usually once I am sitting it starts to go away, but it didn't. I was ready to start screaming as I turned over onto my left side and settle in, but as soon as I got settled it was gone. Last night I couldn't sleep on my right. I'm terrified because it's so painful. I got confirmation that it's not my heart, but it's still scary. I feel like it's something that's not quite connected right. Like maybe where my rib is connected (I think the last rib is right there). And when I switch to my left side it jars it into place or provides some sort of support. My brother has a "floating" floating rib. We all have a floating rib, but he has a weird/rare condition where his moves around and causes a lot of pain. He said it sounds a lot like what I describe, so I wonder if it's not that. Surgery is the only fix for it. The Dr. and I decided not to persue it until after I have a baby because we don't want to take any risks with X-Rays. I agreed with him. It only happens once in a while and it only lasts about 10 seconds. It's excrutiating for those 10 seconds but I'm not going to take the slightest risk if I can help it. I wish I knew the HSG felt like that because I could totally do it. I actually have a high pain tolerance, I just have a fear of the unknown. It's like.. this pain is horrendous.. but when it's over I think "Well if the HSG is like that it's cool". But what if it's worse? Haha. I'm still taking xanax.