Officially Cancelled

Our IUI is no more. Here's what happened:

I'm taking the OPKs and getting the little lines. Yesterday I thought the line was darker but I wasn't sure, so I planned to take another when I got home. Same thing. I wanted to wait until I saw this morning's test to call. Well I'm sitting on the couch and holy ovulation pain! WTF? With clearly negative OPKs? So I take one this morning and now there's definitely a color change, but still not much of one. I called the nurse anyway and told her I got O pain the night before. She says since I see a color change we can schedule the IUI for tomorrow but their earliest appointment is 1:00 for drop-off. Andy has to be at work at noon. She says we have 2 hours but that sounds like way too much time and it's seriously cutting it close since Andy doesn't work close to home. I was pretty sure I missed O anyway so I told her just to skip it. Then I got more pains on the other side, and worse. If I'm not Oing today then my ovary is trying to dig its way out of my body. Things were just stacked up aginst us for this particular cycle. My TSH level, bad timing, Andy's schedule. I am to call on CD1 and begin the next cycle with ovidrel and monitoring so we know we'll have the timing right. I didn't want to waste 150 dollars if there was no chance of success due to timing. Next month I will have seen the endo and started meds, I'll have better timing, and hopefully not be on a weekend so I can go to my actual office. Plus I'll be able to schedule the IUI earlier so I can get a better drop-off time. And it will still be July. The much talked about "getting pregnant in July" coincidences still count because this was technically my June cycle. We will be doing TI, however, since now there's no IUI and if I did O today the egg should still be alive tonight when hubs gets home.

I'm a little upset but not too much about this. I'm also doing my 24 hour urine test so I'll know 100% how my kidneys are before we start the next cycle. I guess it's good to take care of that stuff. Part of me is sitting here thinking "what else is going to come up?" but there's only so much worrying I can do. I just have to hope this is our month and if not that next month will be. I don't believe everything happens for a reason.. that miraculously things will turn out how I want them. But I do believe God has a plan and this is part of it. Maybe he doesn't like the timing... I dont know. But I'm SURE he knows something I don't... so I just have to trust him and hope he wants for me the same things I do!