The witch has arrived! Breaking this to my husband this morning was terrible. When I went downstairs, I must have had a sad look on my face because he said "it came?" and I nodded. He put his head down and pouted and just had this look in his eyes like I'd stabbed him in the gut. I had to physically lift his chin up to talk with him (and I should note that my husband [I know you ladies will disagree 'cause you have husbands, too, but..] has the cutest face in the entire world. He has these chubby cheeks and this baby face and these clear expressions and the poutiest lip, so seeing this look of distress on his face was completely heart-wrenching). I said "Honey why are you so upset? We have something neat to look forward to this month?" and his reply was "Baby". So I looked at him for a minute and he said "I really want this baby". I could have cried. I know he doesn't feel this way, but I feel like I'm letting him down when I have to tell him "no, not this month". I tried to explain to him that when I tell him AF is coming, it's because I know my body and I can feel it. He tends to wave it off, which I can understand - he doesn't know how it works, but then when it does come he gets so down because he was expecting it not to. I also told him it can take a completely normal couple a year to conceive, and, while he knows that, I think like the rest of us he doesn't think it'll take that long for us. It feels like forever because we've been dealing with the infertility since the fall, but there was really no chance we were going to conceive then, so even though it feels like ages to us, it's only been 2 months that it could have really happened.
I reminded him again that this month is a new month and we're tyring a new procedure. I also told him to keep in the back of his mind that there is a chance these might not work. We're hoping and praying, but I just don't want him to be even more devastated if we get to the fall and we're not pregnant and have to move on to IVF. We're being optimistic and not thinking about it, but I don't want to go into these IUIs FULLY expecting them to work just in case they don't. We're working on faith and preparing for our little miracle. As I've mentioned before, God requires faith, and we're going to give it to him, but this isn't an exact science and could take some time.
And because I'm so excited about the IUIs (and discovered I can afford the trigger shot and monitoring next month [if this one doesn't work - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WORK]) I have picked out baby bedding.
For a boy:
For a girl:
We don't like pink and purple very much, and this was the only bedding with an ocean theme that would fit a girl that wasn't pink or purple. I really like this one anyway. I'll probably go crazy and get every accessory too. I also told my mom that the second I find out I'm having a baby, I'm going to buy baby stuff... like green and yellow onesies. Her response: "I may or may not have that covered" lol. I may have thrown people off a little with our Winnie the Pooh baby booties, but we've always planned on an ocean theme room. We want to have a lot of Pooh "stuff" though. Clothes, blankets, toys, etc.
One good thing that came out of this morning is that it's very clear to me now just how much andy wants this baby. That's comforting... I just want to give him what he wants.
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