Getting My Hopes Up... again.

I'm excited about next month, but next month isn't here yet, so I'm going to talk about what I'm actually feeling right now. I took a test this morning at 10DPO and it was negative. It happens. It's 10DPO (someone remind me why I keep wasting money and tests so early). My temp was SO HIGH this morning. A few days ago I was all excited about my super-high temp, but today's was even higher. 98.34. I overlayed my charts on fertilityfriend and it's actually the highest temp I've ever gotten. I'd be excited, but I have weeeeird feelings in my uterus and I'm convinced it's AF getting ready to rear her head. Last month at 10DPO I have cramps. Real ones. These are not cramps. It's a weird discomfort. It hurts in my lower back (but not like cramps do). It does get crampy every so often around my ovaries, but it's just not like regular cramps. I'm still pretty sure this is AF, but I'm curious to see what my temp is tomorrow. If it's still high I'll have to raise an eyebrow. What's interesting is yesterday it was quite low, but I had gotten up to pee leaving only 2 SOLID hours of sleep, so it probably should've been higher and I didn't count it. Still... low at 9DPO and insanely high at 10DPO? Anything's possible. I'm going to the dollar store to get cheapo tests so I can keep taking them and not empty my bank account (There's another one of those crampy things! It's in a different place than i'm used to.. like it's only part of my uterus and higher up than the cramps I'm used to).

Clearly I've gotten my hopes up (dammit!). I know in my heart that chances are it's BFN BUT it might not be. I ovulated, we DTD... why not? Only time will tell. I'm sure on Monday or Tuesday I'll take that unfortunate trip to the bathroom and realize the witch has arrived... but.. I'm holding out hope until then. If little one did implant over yesterday and Wednesday, my HCG probably wouldn't be high enough to test, even on an early response.

Trying to conceive could really drive any woman to the looney bin. It's strange and annoying, but I'm excited. I'm hopeful about next month's IUI, but still about this month too. Trying to walk that line is so freaking hard. Too excited or too depressed.. never right in the middle.