I'm feeling surrounded today. Pregnant girls, pregnant clothes, pregnant tv couples. I walked past a motherhood maternity store and it took a lot of strength not to break down. I've had a really terrible day at work and in general, and things have been setting me off even more than usual. I think a lot of it is because I'm not on my kidney meds yet. I know it's going to be at least 3-4 months from when I start, and I am not hearing anything. It's been 2.5 weeks since I turned in my 24 hour urine and 1.5 since I sent a follow-up email to my doctor and heard they were "just working out timing". It's not fair to make me wait like this, and there's no reason for it except their bad communication. I don't know how they can just sit there and make me wait.. 7 weeks I think since we first started dealing with this... and not even think that it might be affecting me. What's happening to my kidneys while I'm waiting? Why can't they see that I'm a person here... a person who is trying to live their life and have a child and heal her kidneys. I don't feel like I should have to chase my doctors down to get answers.. or to start treatments for a disease that is going to progress. I hate not knowing what's going on back there that I can't see. Could they get damaged enough in 4 months that I wont be able to try IVF while I'm on Prednisone? Have the last 2 months caused damage while waiting to take the meds? I need some of these answers.. I need to know if the prednisone is going to work. Which means I NEED to get started.

On the bright side, I did get my prescription for the Welchol today. It's very expensive but I think I got 500 pills and I take 6 a day so it's almost 3 months' worth and that's not bad. I read one study where it lowered cholesterol 20-40%. Boy would I love to be on the higher end of that! I feel a little better with the medicine on board. Now I just need the other one. I'm not excited to start the insulin, but... what has to be done has to be done, and it's all for my baby. I hope and pray I have a baby to make all of it worthwhile someday. It's been a tough week with all of this stuff. I just want to be making progress.