I've been getting very worried about my high cholesterol lately. We're planning on starting to TTC in 4 months so I can't really go back on my medications. I've been off since February, so if I get pregnant in the next few months after the Prednisone we're looking at 2 full years off medications. This terrifies me because my cholesterol is especially high between my hereditary form and the fact that my kidney disease makes my cholesterol go up. Women are protected somewhat against heart disease, but only to a certain degree. I did have a calcium scoring done and it was 0 , so most places say my risk of a heart attack is pretty low. Between 1-3% in the next ten years. If I can get my cholesterol down to 216 (which I have done with medication!) and my blood pressure under control, the risk goes down to less than 1%. I intend to start on Welchol, which only brings cholesterol down about 15% but is pregnancy safe. And as soon as I give birth I will be going back on meds. But if I can lose weight my cholesterol and blood pressure will both go down (A LOT), and if I am adamant that I will keep trying for a biological baby I need to be doing something extraordinary for my health to combat the cholesterol.
I have tried probably a million diets in the past. Weight Watchers, South Beach, Carb Addict's, Nutrisystem... etc. And I've tried most of them multiple times. They all work.. but I haven't stuck to one yet. But the fact is, I am 113 lbs from the HIGHEST healthy weight for my height. As if obesity wasn't a big enough problem in regards to heart attacks... I FREAKING HAVE HIGH CHOLESTEROL. GOD I'm an idiot sometimes. I should have known better and worked harder. I knew my whole life that people told me my cholesterol was terrible.. but I didn't FEEL it so it never bothered me. Wanting a child is making me look at things in a whole new way. I want to be around for my kid so if my cholesterol can kill me.. I'd better freaking fix it. It's bad enough that I have to be off the meds for two years. It's bad enough that obesity causes a host of its own problems. I need to lose this weight. I don't know how much it will help but I know it will help.
I want to note that there is a form of my disease that pretty much guarantees death by like.. 30. This occurs if a child gets it from both parents. We had Andy's cholesterol checked and it was like.. 160 total, so there's just no way he has it. Our baby could still get the form I have, but I think it's worth doing. I have it and I'm glad my parents had me. My mom will be 60 in March and she has it... and she didn't start taking medicine until she was 19. So although it's a concern, it is a treatable disease and even since I was born treatment has advanced in a million ways. My kidney disease is not hereditary.
So now that that's out of the way (I know some people probably thing it's horrible that I still want to have a baby with this disease... too bad) I will go on. I want to get this cholesterol down and all I have right now is Welchol and weight loss... so I'm going to have to completely exploit it. It's hard to say "Yep, I'm starting a program" because I know I've started hundreds of programs and given up. But if I don't keep trying isn't that worse? I know I can do this... I know the steps to take. I DON'T know how to keep my willpower up but I'm going to have to find a way. I was honestly considering getting "do you really want to die?" tatooed on the inside of my wrist so that every time I picked up a fork I had to look at it. I do have somewhat of a plan though, and I'm outlining it below because I need it outlined somewhere. Basically what I do right now is sleep a lot, laze away at work, and come home and sit on my butt and eat food. If I am too hungry I even binge eat. I get no exercise at all. So here is my plan:
- Wake up at 7:00 so I can be at work by 8:30 and out by 5
- Go to water jogging on Monday and Saturday. Couch to 5K on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday. Weights 4x/week.
- Throw out all the crappy, unhealthy food in my house
- Make meals on Sunday that I can grab and go throughout the week
- Stop drinking soda. Period.
So that's my plan. I think it's totally doable. If I get up early I'll still be home at about the same time so I won't be missing anything. I don't know how I'll keep up my confidence and my willpower. Especially when the scale says something I don't like. I do plan to make a collage and put one on the fridge and one on the bathroom wall over the scale, though. And now that I have some money I'm thinking of giving myself some decent rewards. For instance, my first big goal is 5% of my weight, which equals right now about 14 pounds. I'm thinking of buying myself a new pair of Onitsuka Tiger shoes for about $80. They're my favorite and I haven't been able to justify spending it but I think I'm going to. I REALLY want them and it will make me stop and think before I eat something.
I feel like everyone that knows me is thinking "Seriously? How many times has she tried this". But I just HAVE to try. Again and again and again until I get it right. My life literally depends on it. I want to be a happy, healthy mom, not a tired, sickly one. I owe this to my child. To my husband, my parents... and especially me. And I won't quit until I've achieved my goal. I've overcome so much in my life. I can overcome this weight, too.
I too have been on and off diets since I was about 14. Pretty much always weight watchers. I've gone 2 months straight and then lose my focus. Research says that people do the best with weight loss when they have a goal and time line such as weddings, reunions, graduations, etc.
ReplyDeleteI've been back on the wagon since Aug. 1 and have kept my focus. Have I gone over my points yes, do I consider that I feel off the wagon, no. The last time I did really good I decided to "take off" between Thanksgiving and Christmas. And didn't get back on for over a year.
One thing I've also read is that you are less likely to stick with it if you change TOO much at once. We haven't added exercise but we eat low enough calories in a day that we haven't needed it yet. It also helped that DH is very focused also. It helps us to not stray.
I haven't really told anyone that I'm back on WW since I've probably been on it 20 times since 14 and never have sticked with it. At least since 2000 I haven't gained back all I have lost since then plus some. I've always gained back what I lost plus some.
So get what ever support you need from whomever you can and keep that focus. Gillian from bigger loser said if you don't have focus then it's torture. If you are focused making a choice between carrots or potato chips is very easty. GL!
Good for you for getting back on track!!!! And you're so right.. I was doing great before my wedding and then just... slipped up. This IVF goal is huge though so I'm hoping that helps. The only people I've told are my husband and parents.
ReplyDeleteThat's interesting about changing too much at once. I think that probably makes a lot of sense. I have limited my calories but not TOO much so I hope that will ease me into it!
Keep up the awesome work though.. losing weight is hard!!