I had a teensy bit of a breakdown a few nights ago. Sometimes I can't grasp why my husband and I have so many issues. The kidneys, cholesterol, infertility. They're all like.. big problems! And I sort of wish I could just catch a real break. I don't know if it helped. I was trying to pray and it turned into me crying myself to sleep. I'm doing ok with the timing.. the waiting. I just don't understand why so much is happening. I've been feeling a little more alive lately.. a little more like myself. The cool air and more time with my friends has been good for me. But I still wish these problems would just disappear. I wish my nephrologist would return my emails so we could get this prednisone started. When I look back at the last 4 months I know it's gone by so fast. But when I look forward it feels like forever. Hopefully it will go by quickly and we'll do the IVF in February/March and I'll be expecting a new baby in November (I actually hope that's what happens 'cause I'd love to have 3 months off over Thanksgiving and Christmas!).

I don't know... I think I'll feel different.. better?... after I start my meds. I just want to hear "They're working, your protein is down". I MIGHT throw a tantrum if he doesn't call me soon. Maybe. Probably. Yeah... I hope he calls!