Cabin Fever

I am really curious to see how much E weighs at her next appointment 2 weeks from now. I was feeding her in the middle of the night and I was suddenly extremely aware of her weight. I wouldn't be at all surprised if she was over 6.5 pounds now. I know that's still quite little, but at one point she was 5lb 3oz so it feels like she's a giant. Her newborn clothes look like they actually fit her, or almost fit her, and it scares me to think that she's only 3 weeks old. In another 2 or 3 weeks she'll be in a bigger size. It's going by so fast.

The lack of sleep is really starting to catch up with me. I just can't wake A up in the middle of the night to help. He is a really sound sleeper and is extremely irritable when waking (always has been. He has a lot of bad dreams). Plus, he works right now and I don't, so it's really up to me. It's not so bad when she's not fussy, but some nights she just fusses a lot and I can't sleep. She's still not really a crier (although she cried real tears yesterday when she was gassy and it was heartbreaking) so that's good, but she's trained me to think there's something wrong when she fusses, so I check her diaper all the time and stuff. I think she may not have eaten quite enough because this morning she sucked 3 oz down faster than I've ever seen her do it. I put her down to put her play gym together and she was asleep in the 30 seconds it took me to grab it. Fortunately, A is really learning to take care of her, so I can nap in the evenings if I need to. It's so cute watching him with her. He has an "Evie voice", and he just sings to her and talks to her all the time.

Today, after her next feeding, we're going to the grocery store! It's such a nice day out, and I am in desperate need of food, so we'll see how this first solo outing goes. I hope she cooperates, but at least the store has an easily accessible bathroom, so I can get in there and change her if I need to. I'm not sure how to work taking her in there and still having room in the cart with her car seat, but I don't know how to use the ergo carrier yet :( I'm a little hesitant to try it by myself. It even says in the directions to have someone help you the first time. I can get it on, but I'm not sure how to secure it and get the newborn insert in.

I'm pretty excited to get out of the house with her. I hate being cooped up inside all the time. I'm not someone who can just sit around and watch tv for days at a time. I like shopping and seeing people. I feel a little better taking her out now that she's just about 3 weeks. Plus A took the car to the fire house and had the car seat checked. It was put in wrong! I don't know how. It's the same way as his car, which is super secure, but either way I'm glad we got it checked. Now she'll be really safe, and I can start taking her out for walks, and to go shopping and stuff. I really need it, because my hips hurt if I walk too much, and I need to start getting my body back to normal. Pregnancy is no joke and does a lot to your body. I feel I'll be recovering for quite some time. I do have my appetite back, though, so I'm going to join weight watchers.

All in all, things are good. E just brings a joy to my heart I can't even express. I look at her and I'm just in awe of the fact that we made her. That she's so perfect in every way. And when she stares at me with those big, beautiful eyes that say "I know you. You're my momma".. I just... well I'm tearing up right now. All the words in the world can't explain the love I have for this baby girl. I can't wait to keep sharing everything with her. Learning about her and showing her the world. I'm so lucky. So incredibly lucky.