Wednesday, December 8, 2010

So I have this coworker who is amazing. I knew she'd struggled to conceive and had miscarriages and ended up adopting a baby last year, but I didn't know much about it. Two days ago another coworker told her about my HSG because I was nervous and she knew other coworker had had one. So coworker asks me to go to lunch with her and we do. She talked to me about all of their struggles - how they'd been told they wouldn't conceive naturally, but they did, and then lost the baby. They didn't want to do heavy intervention so they started the adoption process, but then got pregnant again, and the miscarried again. She talked to me about the feeling of loss, and dealing with pregnant women around you. She was open about how she couldn't face baby showers or look at a pregnant woman. She let me vent about how everyone here is pregnant so easily, and she understood. I mean REALLY understood what it's like to watch everyone around you - even those who don't want it - get what you want more than anything. She talked about her husband having to come around to adoption, and how she still has some issues talking about certain things despite having a beautiful little boy (who will be 2 in January) through international adoption. She said some of it is easier now that she is a mom, but she really, really got it. She sent me a website just now about women who post real secrets about pregnancy.. feelings of loss and failure. She said she'd be thinking about me on Tuesday.

Sometimes when you're having a rough time, you meet someone, and they change everything. She'll never know I wrote this, but thank you anyway, Margaret. You don't know how much your support means to me.

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