Bad News

I had my appointment with the nephrologist today. It wasn't a good appointment. As it turns out, my creatinine is 1.69, so it didn't go back down like we thought it would. And my protein went back up to 6g. It was pretty devastating, but in a way I'm sort of numb to it. And he said we've tried pretty much everything, so right now we're considering 1.7 my baseline, and we'll see what happens with some of the old treatments that didn't work before we look at the last thing, which he also doesn't expect to work. He said our goal is to preserve as much renal function as possible. I said to him "Being completely honest, with numbers like this, will I need a transplant?" He said yes. If we can't get my protein down, which we haven't been able to so far and are pretty much out of options. Right now my GFR (glomerular filtration rate) is 40, and they start testing at 30. He did say he thinks it's due to the pregnancy and the awful cold i had, which sucks because everything said if my creatinine is 1.4 or under I should be fine (and it was 1.1). Of course I'm the freak that doesn't follow the norm.

I brought E to the appointment, and his face lit up when he saw her. I told him I would make the same choice again right now even knowing everything I know. She's worth it, and I have 0 regrets. I do still hope we can make some improvements, though. I'd like to keep my own kidneys for a few years until they are building kidneys out of people's own stem cells. They already do it with bladders. We'll see if I can. Right now that means blood pressure meds, weight loss, and a low sodium diet. I hope it helps.

I don't think I'm in the right mental state to talk about how I feel about it all, but... I do need to do this. I need to be around for Evie, and I don't want to ever hear her say "why is my mommy sick?". I want to be healthy for me, but it's devastating because of her. I need to take care of my daughter which means I need to take care of me. She deserves the best mom she can get.

Gratuitous cuteness.

Happy and in love daddy with his teeny girl.

She loves her bee! I cant wait until the hair grows in on top of her head. Seriously pictures don't do her cuteness justice. She has the cutest face I've ever seen.