Tuesday, February 23, 2010

It's the Little Things

I never thought I could be so excited to get up in the morning and check my temperature. Are my temps consistent? It's CD15. Did my temp spike? Is that an implantation dip!?

Lately my temps have been really flat, which I've taken to be a good sign. Everything I've read points to flat temps = steady hormones. I throw out weekends, though, because I wake up so late. I have actually remembered every day but 1 so far because I've been putting the thermometer on top of my phone which acts as my alarm, so the first thing I touch every morning is my trusty basal. I'm still mildly terrified about this cycle after the weirdness of last month, and every time I feel anything in the pelvic region that could be contrued as discomfort, I plan my doctor visit in my head. So far I've been able to return to reality quickly. Not everything means you have problems! For me, a pain in my thumb means I'll never have children. I need to work on that. I have enough stress without creating my own.

Andy is getting his bloodwork on Friday in preparation for our March 5th visit. I wish I could stop getting so excited. I KNOW he's not "there" yet with the tumor shrinkage, but I'm just so hopeful that it's at least working.

In the mean time, I emailed my aunt, who struggled with infertility for many years, and finally, after multiple IVF cycles, went on to conceive 2 children naturally. I don't really have any other close friends or relatives who are dealing with what we are, so I'm hoping she can give me some advice. I'm still praying for a miracle, and for the ability to let things happen. Neither have proved fruitful yet, but I'll continue praying and hoping that God's timing gets a little closer to my own.

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