2 Years

Yesterday was Evangeline's second birthday. I cannot believe my daughter is 2. The truth is, she and her brother are the best things that ever happened to me. I love them more than I could ever express in words. Evie is just the most beautiful, sweet, smart, funny little girl I've ever met, and I can't believe how quickly the last two years have gone by. She's my best friend, and I am so lucky that I was chosen to be her mommy. When I look at her, everything that happened to lead us here makes sense. God's timing makes sense. Because she was meant for us, and we were meant for her. That's the only way I can explain it. Here are a few pictures of my sweet baby.

And as a little update, Andrew is doing well. We're not getting a lot of sleep, but it could be worse. He's so sweet and is just such a good baby. I'm still adjusting to having two kids, but it's really been better than I imagined it could be.

Still In The NICU

I can't believe it's been over two weeks since Andrew was born. It's insane how quickly the time is going by. He is still in the hospital. He's been doing great, but he's small, so he has trouble gaining weight and maintaining his temperature at the same time. He's been in a crib instead of the isolette the last few days, though, and still gaining a little, so we're headed in the right direction. I just want him home so badly. He's such a sweet boy. He just sleeps and squirms and eats and poops. He almost never cries or fusses. We're so blessed to have him, and also that he's done so well. He hasn't had a feeding tube or anything. He's just little. I'm staying with my parents right now because the house had stairs which were painful, and because he works and I can't lift Evie right now. With the C-section I just couldn't chase her like I needed to. I'm going home in a few days. It's been so odd that I have been sleeping well and such. Like.. I have a new baby. I should be sleep deprived! I know I will be when he gets home. He needs to eat every 3 hours since he's so small. We can't just let him eat when he is hungry or he'll sleep through his feedings. I'm trying to enjoy the sleep while I can get it.

Here are the latest photos of Andrew with daddy, me, and being held by his mom-mom just chillin'. He doesn't look as small to me in pictures as he does in real life, but trust me, he's small. Though he is up to 4lb 10.5oz!

Birth Story

It has been almost a week now since Andrew was born at 33w 4d. I'd been in and out of the hospital a few times, and we knew my run as a pregnant lady was coming to an end. 

I got up on Monday morning (1/13) and I didn't feel well. My BP was high, and I knew I needed to see the OB anyway, so I made an appointment for that afternoon. I finished working, and went met my mother at the office. Andy was home with Evie but we figured I'd end up at the hospital so she wanted to come with me. He sent me straight away, and they decided pretty immediately that they were going to admit me because my BP was out of control and my kidney function had declined way too much in two weeks. They gave me steroids and tried to buy 24 hours to get Andrew time to get the full effect of the medicine. They scheduled the c-section for Wednesday at 4:30, but in the middle of the night they woke me up and told me they wanted to do it at 7:30AM instead. Andy couldn't get there by then, but the nurse said she guessed my numbers were getting worse and worse, so they moved it up. I told them I would not do it without my husband, so we waited until Andy arrived. He had to wait for my parents to come to watch Evie, so he got there at 10, and they immediately had him change and wheeled me back.

They didn't want me to go through labor and put any extra stress on my kidneys, so we went straight to a c-section. It went much better than last time. The anesthesiologist was great, and it only took 1 try to get the spinal in, and I could breathe. I actually got to pay attention to what was happening, and he was very responsive and able to stop my nausea when I told him I felt sick. It didn't take long to get little Andy out, and he started crying which made me happy. I asked Andy how little the baby was and he said "He's pretty small"! He went with the nurse to take pictures of him, but he only got to stay a few minutes because they had to hook him up to all the machines, so he came back to sit with me. That was nice because it started to get so uncomfortable so he let me squeeze his hand and talked me through it. He kept telling me how well I was doing, and at one point the doctor said "OK I'm putting your uterus back". Uhm.. ok... great to know it was out. But I knew it was getting close to done. The worst was getting my tubes tied. It was hard to sign a paper that said "I consent to be sterilized" but we knew it was the right thing to do. We can't risk another pregnancy. the procedure was extremely uncomfortable. It felt like they were just pushing my organs around. 

Once they finished they wheeled me into post-op, and I got to recover there for a bit before moving to my room and puking all over myself. But that happened last time, too. I couldn't get over to see little Andy that day because I couldn't move and had a catheter, so I just slept and saw him the next day. At that point we had discovered that my kidney function was still getting worse, and my BP was not leveling out. It was consistently 200/100 and my creatinine continued to go up for a few days. Finally with a ton of extra medicine we got my BP to stabilize, and my kidney function stopped getting worse, though it's really terrible now. At this point, with me, we are just waiting to see how my kidneys shake out in a few weeks. We are hoping my body realizes I'm no longer pregnant and I gain a little function back, but only time will tell.

As for Andy, he's great! The doctor warned of "wimpy white boy" syndrome. Apparently caucasian males have the most trouble when born premature, but he's been defying the odds. He was on CPAP for one night, but then he didn't need it anymore. He also pulled out his feeding tube so they just let him eat from a bottle and he did it. His IV came out today, and the only thing he still needs to do is gain weight so he can regulate his temperature. He's only 4lb 3oz right now, so he needs some fat so he can stay warm. He's spending most of his time just sleeping away happily in his isolette. 

It was so hard to leave him today. I cried and Andy held me. I get to see him every day, but it's hard to leave him in a hospital when I could spend most of his feedings with him in my arms and I can't now. But it was also hard to be away from Evie, and it's nice to get to hold and comfort and love on her again. I'm going to see little Andy in the morning, but I just need to bring him home. I can't wait to have my family with me. Big Andy was amazing this week. He's not good with dealing with change and he really adjusted and did everything he could for me while I was terrified in the hospital. 

This is the day he was born - the day I didn't get to see him when he was on CPAP. Evie just poked and said "baby". She will understand more when he's home.

 

This is the first time I saw him. He was breathing on his own but had a feeding tube which he promptly ripped out. You can kind of get an idea of how little he was by the size of my hand. He was 4lb 7oz at birth but was closer to 4 here, and maybe a little less.

 

This is Andy yesterday. He looks like a normal-sized baby, but he's not. He also looks exactly like Evie did when she was born. I love this sweet face. I can't believe he'll be a week old tomorrow!

01/15/14

I will write more later, but for now, I wanted to let everyone know that Andrew Lee Sterlachini III was born on Wednesday, 01/15 at 10:48am weighing 4lb 7oz and 17 inches long. He was born at 33w4d. Little Andy is doing very well. He was on CPAP for one night but has been doing amazingly on room air since. He is in an isolette right now learning to regulate his temp, but he is on minimal fluids so I expect his IV to come out soon. He is drinking from a bottle like a champ, and I'm pumping but my milk still isn't in, so we are trying to nurse once a day just to get him used to it. We are incredibly blessed that he is doing so well. They say he could be here until he would have been 38 weeks but I think 2 weeks is more likely. He's just such a chill, quiet little man and we are so blessed to have him as part of our family!

I will post a birth story and info later, but I am still in the hospital. My kidney function got very bad and my BP won't stabilize but hopefully that will improve and I can leave soon. For now I'm just trying to enjoy being close to little man!

Oh, Crap.

Christmas was wonderful. I had an amazing time with my family and Evie actually napped at my parents' house. I went to bed in a good mood, though not completely ready to go to work on Thursday. At some point in the middle of the night I woke up with a headache. I got a little more sleep but by around 6 I couldn't sleep. I took some tylenol and decided to head to work, but then I threw up the tylenol, and threw up once more. I made it to work but by this point I was a little concerned because I know the signs and symptoms of Pre-E. So I told myself I'd have the nurse at the health center check my BP. If it was OK, I was just having a migraine. If not, I had to go to the hospital. I wasn't just a little susprised when it was 174/110. The nurse suggested I go by ambulance but I wanted to drive myself. I had to go to the hospital where my MFM is because my local hospital can't handle babies before 32 weeks, and I was actually closer to that one from work anyway. By the time I got to the hospital my BP was 220/110.

Needless to say, they were concerned. They started me on IV BP meds that weren't doing a whole lot, and they noticed my kidney function was getting worse, so they admitted me. For a while, they weren't sure if they were going to have to deliver the baby, so I got steroid shots and ended up in a meeting with pre-op so they had all my information in case I needed an emergency c-section. Which, of course, was terrifying. Andy was home with the baby and couldn't rush down, and I was OK with that for a while. My dad went over there so he could come down though, and having him there helped a lot. With keeping me in bed and lots of meds we were able to get my BP to come down and stay down, and I was able to go home Friday.

This whole thing is terrifying, though. I had issues with Evangeline that started around 34 weeks, and I was able to keep her in until 36+6. I'm only 31 weeks with this baby and I am now striving for 36. Hoping and praying I can keep him in 5 more weeks. The doctors are hoping for another month. And it all feels so hopeless. I'm super on edge and I keep analyzing every weird feeling I have. I'm not ready for this baby to come, and he's not ready to be here. He needs more time but my body is failing.

When I delivered Evie my creatinine was 1.8, and at the time it was the highest it had ever been. It's now 1.8 and likely worsening. And at what point does that start to worry us? I'm already worried, but are my kidneys just going to flat out fail at some point? With weeks to go and worsening renal function already? I'm so tired and I just want my babies and I to be healthy. I want to be able to chase Evie again and I want to be able to provide everything this newbie needs. It's a tough place to be in, not knowing what's going to happen. On Christmas day I thought I was OK, and the next day I was in the hospital trying not to deliver my son. I don't know what will happen tomorrow.

My family is being super supportive. Andy is trying his best to hold me up while at the same time freaking out himself. My work is being supportive of me needing to work from home, and I'm thankful for that. If we didn't have the income from now until delivery I don't know what I'd do. I'm supposed to take things easy and not run errands and get help chasing my almost 2 year old, which is so tough. I am hoping to start working from home on Thursday throughout the duration of the pregnancy (which we're pulling for February).

I guess what I'm trying to say is I have no idea what's going to happen and I'm terrified. I don't feel like I can fully express how I'm feeling, but I'm scared, and I just want to curl up in a ball and cry on my husband, but we have too much to do and too much on our plates to waste time with me being a baby. It doesn't make it easy. We just need rest. And prayers.

30 Weeks! And Another Trip to L&D

Well it's finally almost Christmas. I'm pretty excited now that Evie's a little older. I'm sure she won't fully grasp the whole presents thing, but she's getting some cool new things that should keep her occupied for a while. Unfortunately, her "big" gift, a Bubble Guppies arm chair, won't be here in time for Christmas. fortunately she won't know any better, and she'll still be excited when it arrives in a week. In the mean time she has books, puzzles, movies, toys, etc. And her grandparents got her a Nabi Jr so that'll be fun for her. I'm trying really hard to enjoy this Christmas since it will be our last as a family of 3. But it's also hard because we have had so much to do. We didn't get our tree up until yesterday, and I'm a day after Thanksgiving kind of girl. But with doctor's appointments, work, and everything else, it's been busy and draining.

Yesterday I paid my second visit to L&D. The first was very early on at 18 weeks. This time it was for high BP, which ended up being fine at the hospital. So I got an NST and everything looked good, but it was a giant waste of 2 hours.

We did manage this weekend to get Santa pictures. Evie was totally OK with being on Santa's lap. She held his hand as you can see. She actually smiled, too, but she was looking at me, and I was way to the left so you couldn't see her well. We ended up going with this one because it was the only one close to straight on. She looks upset but she was really fine.

Almost 30 Weeks and Gearing Up!

Well it's been a heck of a month in our household. Evie got really sick with  a double ear infection and upper respiratory infection and then I caught it from her. We thought things were getting better, but then last week she got a stomach virus. She wouldn't drink and was vomiting and whatnot, and actually had to go to the hospital for dehydration. I also caught that from her. It was absolutely horrible! So I was out of commission and it lingered a bit so she was being a toddler who didn't feel well and driving everyone crazy. She seems to be feeling better now and I'm hoping we can stay healthy for a while!

Evie's development has been amazing. Ever since we lowered her crib rail she's been doing so many new things. She's climbing everything, trying to get herself snacks, and saying tons of new words. Right now her vocabulary is picking up the most. She has started saying a lot more "sentences". Like "Go away, All done, and what's this"? She loves to sing and sometimes gets the right words in the right spot. Like when Jake says "Hey Ho Let's Go!" She yells "GO!" At the end. She was way ahead with language in the beginning, but slowed down, and is now storming ahead a mile a minute. She's learned a ton of new words in the last two weeks, including one of her new favorites, "why" which we usually only get when we tell her she can't do something. 

We've gotten into a nice routine with bed time for now, and with her going to bed at 8, I get to actually spend more quality time with her which is great. I get to give her a bath and feed her and put her to bed just about every night, and Andy and I take turns with cleaning  and things so we get some quality time after her bed time to do our own thing.

This is the new thing she started doing. Covering her ears. This child is SO sassy it's ridiculous, but she also loves her mommy SO much.

Things are moving along with baby boy. I'm 29 weeks 4 days, and so far so good. He was 2lb 13oz at 28 weeks, and in the 82nd percentile. We're still expecting an early delivery, but it's looking more and more like I'll get to my 36 weeks goal. Although we all know how much can change in a few weeks. He still doesn't have a name, but we have a number of contenders. Right now his bedroom is still a guest room, so we have to take down all the guest room stuff, move all of Evie's furniture in there, buy all her new furniture, and put it all together. And soon! We do have lots of clothes and things ready for him, though, so that's a plus. I will just feel so much better when his room is ready!

Some days I still can't believe I'm about to have two kids. I'm still in shock over that positive test, even when I feel him squirming around. Even when people ask me when my last day is! I think I'll still be in shock when I'm holding him. We're truly blessed to have one amazing little girl and a sweet little man on the way. It's so strange how things work out, and I wish I'd trusted more when we were going through tough times. God is great.