Coming Home

I'm having one of "those" days. I've cried more than once, I've been angry, I've been tired, I've been excited. I've been emotional, and I'm more than ready for a nap. My fetal echocardiogram was supposed to be today, but I got a call at noon that I'd missed it. I was very confused because it was in my phone for 1:45. It looks like somehow the "0" dropped off because it was supposed to be 10:45. They managed to fit me in On Thursday, but I sat at my desk and cried because I missed her and wanted to see her so badly. I know it's strange, since she's in my body, but I was so looking forward to it. And now A might not be able to go. I am glad I get to see her Thursday, and I've mostly recovered from the news. As if to say "Mom, it's OK!" she started kicking a little more again today. I love it when she does that. Her kicks are definitely getting harder and more kick-like.

And then I started looking at the registries I made for her, and thought about her coming home outfit. And that hit me a little funny. In 16 weeks, I should be bringing a baby home. It's sort of unreal. It doesn't feel like long ago that I felt hopeless. The time between IVF #1 and IVF #2 was difficult, and the only thing that got me going was trying to wipe the slate clean and start a new cycle. And there were some days then when it just didn't seem like it was going to happen. And then it did. And... everything is different. And the further along I get the more real it seems. I'm looking at clothes for my baby girl to wear home from the hospital. And it's just amazing.

For what it's worth, I'm thinking of using this:

I've made it clear I'm not a huge fan of pink but I want her to have something simple and pretty to come home in. She is, after all, a girl. I love that it covers her tiny little angel feet and her sweet little head. We have pink mittens for her perfect baby hands, too.

I'm in awe. I'm picking out a coming home outfit. For me. For MY gorgeous girl. I just keep continuing to pray that she stays in as long as possible and is healthy and happy.