12DPO. I've had shooting pains in my boobs, and they've at times been tender to the touch since 7DPO. Today I put a bra on and it hurt. That's new. I'm not sure about my temp today. It was about 97.6 yesterday. Today it was 97.53, but I tossed and turned all night and took it at 5:45. I took it again at 7, my usual time, and it was 97.88 (much better!). I had gotten up at 5:45 to pee though, so I didn't have 3 hours. I discarded the temp because I don't know if the way too early, 3 hours but tossing and turning temp, or the on time, restful sleep but got up to pee an hour before temp were right. I hope the second one, but it doesn't really matter. What matters is if I get AF or not. The cramping was pretty much gone until I pulled up this blog to write lol. So now I've been cramping for three days! Still nothing on the AF front. I have been to the bathroom about 1000 times, and have had to pee about 5 of them, but no spotting or anything. The cramps I just got are in my back, which is weird. Monday/Tuesday cramps were just like AF only not as intense. I guess I'm still expecting AF to arrive today. It's weird for me to cramp this long without getting AF. Most time I cramp and it's already here. Or I cramp and it's there the next day. I want to run to the bathroom RIGHT NOW to check, but I'm on a conference call and I can't. This 2WW is really making me nuts, and my husband even moreso. He has this ability to just let things happen and I don't have that. I wish I did. I feel pretty certain AF is here, so when this call is over I'm going to check. UPDATE - Still no period.

I really need to learn more patience with this whole thing. I think next month if this month didn't work, we'll BD more. We have our IVF consult on June 16th, so I'm interested to see how that goes. I wonder how quickly we could get the process started. I should be getting my period around June 21st so I'd like to start the BCPs right away. I'll need the saline ultrasound, and hopefully start stimming in the end of July, but I don't know if that's too soon or not. We need to workout financing, and I don't know how that's going to happen. That's the scariest part of the whole thing for me. I don't think I'm going to do the HSG. The nephrologist said he thinks I would be ok, but he's also said I shouldn't risk any procedures that weren't absolutely necessary, and since IVF bypasses the tubes, and the saline ultrasound will show the uterus, I'm going to skip it unless the RE can convince me it's necessary. I've never heard of anyone else being required to do an HSG for IVF, so we'll see. My insurance covers 50% of the IVF up to 6 fresh cycles (I have no idea what they do for FET, but I think it's the same) up to $100,000, so in theory we could do more than one, but I hope 1 cycle works for us. Even at half price it starts adding up. We don't have 7 grand in savings right now, and we can't take out a second mortgage 'cause we don't own a house. The Fertility Finance place would be 200 a month for 48 months, which we should be able to afford without issue, but that's IF we get financing! It's frustrating.

I guess I'm just rambling now. I just want a healthy, happy little one in my arms sooner than later. I want to get back on my meds and start working on my kidneys again. I want to raise a child and love him more than anyone in the world could, and watch his daddy play with his little toes. I want him to grow up with my kitties and I want to snuggle him to sleep in my arms. I said a prayer about him and burst into tears. Chances are slim that I'm pregnant with the issues we've had, but I COULD be, and I keep telling Andy I already love this baby. I keep telling him to stay put in there because we already love him and we promise to take care of him. I hope he listens.