I can't believe how intense my baby fever is right now. I want to be pregnant yesterday. Of course my lovely friend AF reminded me today that I am, certainly, not.

Evie's at this stage of transition. Her sleep is unsteady, her naps unsteady, cognitive and emotional jumps abound. But one thing that has been static is how much she needs her mommy. Whenever I'm around, if anyone else has her, she makes it clear that she wants MOM. In the middle of the night, amidst screams and tears (for reasons unbeknownst to us) I had to go to the bathroom. Andy had her, and the second I came back in she was trying her best to climb into my arms. I rocked her in the glider which she hasn't let me do in ages.

I love how much she loves me. I love being needed. And I feel good about life. We've got a pretty solid routine down that's working pretty well for us. And I miss having a teeny, tiny baby around. I'm still not sure I'm ready to give up one on one time with Evie, but.. I just miss her tiny fingers and toes. I miss her falling asleep on my chest for hours. I want that again.

We're committed to waiting until late summer/early fall to talk about a baby 2. but I can think about it and yearn. I'm not sure where love for the new baby would go in my heart as consumed as I am by Evangeline. But It has to go somewhere, right?