I'm having a really difficult time dealing with something. I posted an entire blog entry and saved it as a draft because I needed to get it out, but I was so scared that the person in question would find it that I didn't want to post it even though she doesn't read my blog. I hate that I have to feel this way and that I can't share it with anyone or I seem like a total jerk. This whole process is so hard and I wish the general population had an inkling as to what it felt like so I could say how I felt. I'm tired of having to keep my emotions in because they're "wrong".

This is in reference to pregnant friends and how I feel about 1 in particular. I hope when other friends get pregnant if I'm still unable to try or haven't yet conceived, they will handle it in a completely different way because I shouldn't have to deal with the way this person is handling it, and I shouldn't have to feel bad for disapproving.