Oh, Crap.

Christmas was wonderful. I had an amazing time with my family and Evie actually napped at my parents' house. I went to bed in a good mood, though not completely ready to go to work on Thursday. At some point in the middle of the night I woke up with a headache. I got a little more sleep but by around 6 I couldn't sleep. I took some tylenol and decided to head to work, but then I threw up the tylenol, and threw up once more. I made it to work but by this point I was a little concerned because I know the signs and symptoms of Pre-E. So I told myself I'd have the nurse at the health center check my BP. If it was OK, I was just having a migraine. If not, I had to go to the hospital. I wasn't just a little susprised when it was 174/110. The nurse suggested I go by ambulance but I wanted to drive myself. I had to go to the hospital where my MFM is because my local hospital can't handle babies before 32 weeks, and I was actually closer to that one from work anyway. By the time I got to the hospital my BP was 220/110.

Needless to say, they were concerned. They started me on IV BP meds that weren't doing a whole lot, and they noticed my kidney function was getting worse, so they admitted me. For a while, they weren't sure if they were going to have to deliver the baby, so I got steroid shots and ended up in a meeting with pre-op so they had all my information in case I needed an emergency c-section. Which, of course, was terrifying. Andy was home with the baby and couldn't rush down, and I was OK with that for a while. My dad went over there so he could come down though, and having him there helped a lot. With keeping me in bed and lots of meds we were able to get my BP to come down and stay down, and I was able to go home Friday.

This whole thing is terrifying, though. I had issues with Evangeline that started around 34 weeks, and I was able to keep her in until 36+6. I'm only 31 weeks with this baby and I am now striving for 36. Hoping and praying I can keep him in 5 more weeks. The doctors are hoping for another month. And it all feels so hopeless. I'm super on edge and I keep analyzing every weird feeling I have. I'm not ready for this baby to come, and he's not ready to be here. He needs more time but my body is failing.

When I delivered Evie my creatinine was 1.8, and at the time it was the highest it had ever been. It's now 1.8 and likely worsening. And at what point does that start to worry us? I'm already worried, but are my kidneys just going to flat out fail at some point? With weeks to go and worsening renal function already? I'm so tired and I just want my babies and I to be healthy. I want to be able to chase Evie again and I want to be able to provide everything this newbie needs. It's a tough place to be in, not knowing what's going to happen. On Christmas day I thought I was OK, and the next day I was in the hospital trying not to deliver my son. I don't know what will happen tomorrow.

My family is being super supportive. Andy is trying his best to hold me up while at the same time freaking out himself. My work is being supportive of me needing to work from home, and I'm thankful for that. If we didn't have the income from now until delivery I don't know what I'd do. I'm supposed to take things easy and not run errands and get help chasing my almost 2 year old, which is so tough. I am hoping to start working from home on Thursday throughout the duration of the pregnancy (which we're pulling for February).

I guess what I'm trying to say is I have no idea what's going to happen and I'm terrified. I don't feel like I can fully express how I'm feeling, but I'm scared, and I just want to curl up in a ball and cry on my husband, but we have too much to do and too much on our plates to waste time with me being a baby. It doesn't make it easy. We just need rest. And prayers.

30 Weeks! And Another Trip to L&D

Well it's finally almost Christmas. I'm pretty excited now that Evie's a little older. I'm sure she won't fully grasp the whole presents thing, but she's getting some cool new things that should keep her occupied for a while. Unfortunately, her "big" gift, a Bubble Guppies arm chair, won't be here in time for Christmas. fortunately she won't know any better, and she'll still be excited when it arrives in a week. In the mean time she has books, puzzles, movies, toys, etc. And her grandparents got her a Nabi Jr so that'll be fun for her. I'm trying really hard to enjoy this Christmas since it will be our last as a family of 3. But it's also hard because we have had so much to do. We didn't get our tree up until yesterday, and I'm a day after Thanksgiving kind of girl. But with doctor's appointments, work, and everything else, it's been busy and draining.

Yesterday I paid my second visit to L&D. The first was very early on at 18 weeks. This time it was for high BP, which ended up being fine at the hospital. So I got an NST and everything looked good, but it was a giant waste of 2 hours.

We did manage this weekend to get Santa pictures. Evie was totally OK with being on Santa's lap. She held his hand as you can see. She actually smiled, too, but she was looking at me, and I was way to the left so you couldn't see her well. We ended up going with this one because it was the only one close to straight on. She looks upset but she was really fine.

Almost 30 Weeks and Gearing Up!

Well it's been a heck of a month in our household. Evie got really sick with  a double ear infection and upper respiratory infection and then I caught it from her. We thought things were getting better, but then last week she got a stomach virus. She wouldn't drink and was vomiting and whatnot, and actually had to go to the hospital for dehydration. I also caught that from her. It was absolutely horrible! So I was out of commission and it lingered a bit so she was being a toddler who didn't feel well and driving everyone crazy. She seems to be feeling better now and I'm hoping we can stay healthy for a while!

Evie's development has been amazing. Ever since we lowered her crib rail she's been doing so many new things. She's climbing everything, trying to get herself snacks, and saying tons of new words. Right now her vocabulary is picking up the most. She has started saying a lot more "sentences". Like "Go away, All done, and what's this"? She loves to sing and sometimes gets the right words in the right spot. Like when Jake says "Hey Ho Let's Go!" She yells "GO!" At the end. She was way ahead with language in the beginning, but slowed down, and is now storming ahead a mile a minute. She's learned a ton of new words in the last two weeks, including one of her new favorites, "why" which we usually only get when we tell her she can't do something. 

We've gotten into a nice routine with bed time for now, and with her going to bed at 8, I get to actually spend more quality time with her which is great. I get to give her a bath and feed her and put her to bed just about every night, and Andy and I take turns with cleaning  and things so we get some quality time after her bed time to do our own thing.

This is the new thing she started doing. Covering her ears. This child is SO sassy it's ridiculous, but she also loves her mommy SO much.

Things are moving along with baby boy. I'm 29 weeks 4 days, and so far so good. He was 2lb 13oz at 28 weeks, and in the 82nd percentile. We're still expecting an early delivery, but it's looking more and more like I'll get to my 36 weeks goal. Although we all know how much can change in a few weeks. He still doesn't have a name, but we have a number of contenders. Right now his bedroom is still a guest room, so we have to take down all the guest room stuff, move all of Evie's furniture in there, buy all her new furniture, and put it all together. And soon! We do have lots of clothes and things ready for him, though, so that's a plus. I will just feel so much better when his room is ready!

Some days I still can't believe I'm about to have two kids. I'm still in shock over that positive test, even when I feel him squirming around. Even when people ask me when my last day is! I think I'll still be in shock when I'm holding him. We're truly blessed to have one amazing little girl and a sweet little man on the way. It's so strange how things work out, and I wish I'd trusted more when we were going through tough times. God is great.