3 Months Old and an Updat

Parenting 2 children is definitely a skill that takes some time, but for the most part I think I'm doing well. Sometimes I feel like Evie is missing out on mommy time because Andrew needs me so much, and that part is hard. I have to hold him a lot and she comes over to lay on me and I put my arm around her and try to explain to her that Andrew can't do anything for himself so I have to. She doesn't seem torn up over it, but she has g otten extremely cuddly (which I like). She's always laying in my lap, hugging me, snuggling into my sides, and generally being a sweet mommy's girl. Andy took her to the store yesterday and she was saying "mommy mommy" the whole time! She's still not happy with daycare, but I think things may improve. We finally got to talk with the people from the Infants and Toddlers program, and they said she has a sensory processing disorder. Right now I'm thinking it is THE sensory processing disorder (SPD) because she fits it so well. Now that I have her program in writing I can bring it to daycare and go over everything with them so they can put her in the best classroom and make sure they're not expecting things of her that she can't do. Children with SPD are often gifted in intelligence, but their sensory integration dysfunction causes problems with motor skills and things. We're working with Evie and have gotten her some things to help her so she can be caught up to the other kids in fine motor skills for kindergarten.

Her speech is picking up a lot. She says all sorts of words and phrases now, but it's still not enough. We still need to take her to Kennedy Krieger for an official diagnosis and make sure her SPD isn't part of some other disorder. My guess would  be that it's standalone, but we need to know for sure so they can put her program together. At least I now know why she's always standing on her head and throwing herself around and just so crazily full of energy. Why she doesn't color (she can grasp the crayon, but she can't push down hard enough to make marks) or use utensils. An Occupational therapist is coming to work on these things with her. The thing is she's smart - she counts and does colors and letters and things, but we cant sit with her and work on learning because she can't concentrate, so hopefully these things will help with that. And hopefully once the daycare folks understand her behavior, they will stop acting like she's being the "bad" kid. It's not behavioral - it's neurological. And they can work with her on improving her skills as well.

Andrew is doing well. He still rolls front to back, and he can roll back to side. He smiles a lot and can bat at toys. He LOVES laying on his play mat talking to his octopus. He's just such a joy to be around. He does not sleep well, though. He's still doing 3 hour stretches, which means I have to get up and do everything, put him back to bed, then fall back asleep myself, so I don't get 3 hour stretches. It's tough because I am so exhausted and yesterday I thought I would break down. This has been going on for over 2 months now, but because he's so little, he's not ready to sleep longer. He's just now a little over 10lb, and experts say at 11 they start to be able to sleep better. He just needs a ton of calories to put on weight. But mommy needs sleep desperately. Hopefully he will start sleeping better soon so I can catch up. I'm a mess right now. But looking at that sweet smile every morning reminds me how worth it it all is!

Daycare Woes

After some more evaluators came to the house, they decided that Evie has a sensory processing disorder. Difficulty processing multiple stimuli. Which basically equates to ADHD, but they don't want to call it that in a 2 year old, which is fine, but I will refer to it as such because it's easier and I'm lazy. They recommended daycare for her so she gets more interaction with other kids and structure. I put her in daycare last week. She goes Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and she hates it. She screams when I drop her off and she cries on and off all day. They keep telling me that ALL kids do that at first. I have friend whose daughter cried for months. But it's making  me question my decision, and is the hardest thing I've done as a parent so far. It's so incredibly difficult to leave Evie there knowing she's miserable. She knows I'm going to come back by now, and the rooms are filled with kids, toys, and books, but she doesn't want to be there and I don't know why. I'm hoping she'll adjust but right now my heart is pulling at me to just yank her and keep her at home. But she's going to have to go to school eventually, and I don't want her doing this in kindergarten. I really am beside myself. Am I doing the right thing? I don't know. The state agency says yes. My heart says no. My head says she'll get used to it and start to have fun. I guess time will tell. It's only her second week and she had 4 days off so she may have thought she didn't have to go back. But she does. And I'm just praying it helps her and she starts to enjoy playing all day.

Andrew is doing well. He's been a little snotty and still doesn't sleep well, but he's such a doll. My parents kept him last night so I could sleep, and he kept them up all night, but that's just what he does because he's little. He'll adjust to life on the outside soon enough. He's such a wonderful little person. He's rolling over, and holding his head up well. He doesn't talk much, and really loves being on his mommy, but I enjoy it because one day he won't anymore. I just love to kiss his sweet head and cuddle him.

I love my kids so much. It's a challenging time for us but we're getting through it and I think if Evie can warm up to daycare we'll be in a pretty good place.

This is Evie arriving home after her first day of daycare. She was happy to be home.

Back to Work and Other Updates

Well, once again it's been a while since I've posted. A lot has been going on, and I think I'll break it down by baby this time.

Evangeline is doing well. She's such a happy girl and growing like a weed. She's in the 95th percentile for height but she's skinny. Probably because she's boycotting almost every food right now. I can get her to eat grilled cheese, pasta, egg beaters, and kix. Sometimes fruit pouches and yogurt if she's feeling saucy. I guess the big news is that the pediatrician had a few concerns at her last visit, so we got her evaluated. If you know me in real life, I ask that you please keep this part quiet. Someone from the state came out to do the evaluation in the areas of gross motor skills, fine motor skills, social/emotional, speech, and problem solving. She was fine in gross motor skills, but behind in the others (mildly except for fine motor. She's doing some things from her age group, but not enough to count as a "solid foundation" of 24 month skills), and the woman said she could see why the pediatrician was concerned about Autism spectrum disorders. We spent most of that day crying and just wondering why Evie would have issues. We knew her language was lacking a bit, but to think there was some big, underlying cause? We weren't expecting it. The next week the Speech pathologist came out (I'll refer to her as SLP) and did an evaluation, and we came out with a much better feeling. She said in her opinion, Evie has a simple speech delay. She said she doesn't have any of the big markers for autism spectrum disorders that she can see. She admitted that Evie doesn't follow directions, but she does think Evie understands. In her words, Evie is a "strong, independent female". She wants what she wants period. She said she has a big personality and is going to be a lot of fun to work with. She encouraged me not to stifle her, and to let her develop into an even stronger little girl. What was particularly interesting is that she was telling me phrases Evie was saying left and right that I didn't understand. She said she was certain of it because she's dealt with speech issues for so long. So I'm sitting there thinking Evie is seriously behind. Meanwhile she's sitting there counting "one, two, three!" and saying "ready, set, go!" and "Want that!" among others. She said Evie's saying a lot of phrases, she just wants to work with her on single words (which I've noticed she's already picking up on). I feel a lot better about that. I think we connected pretty well and she honestly believes it's just a delay. Woo hoo! We do have an occupational therapist coming to help Evie with some fine motor skills though. Andy and I think she has ADHD (which Andy has) and she has trouble concentrating to learn some of the skills like eating with utensils and using a cup. It's easier to use a sippy and eat with her hands and she doesn't have to focus on it. We'll see what they say on Thursday.

One cool thing about everything is that I've started really trying to pay more attention to Evie's language and so I'm picking up more of her words, which makes her happy, and helps me to translate for other people. She's also turned into a much more affectionate child. I can't say what's brought that on but I love it. She comes up and hugs people now. If I'm laying on the couch with my eyes closed, she comes up and curls up next to me, or puts her face on my face. She'll snuggle close and we'll give each other kisses. It's magical. And she adores her brother. When she comes downstairs in the morning the first thing she does is look for him. "Baby?" she'll ask. When she finds him she'll say "Hi baby" or "AWWWW baby"! She wants to snuggle him but he's little so I have to keep her away. She doesn't understand and it makes me sad, but he's still pretty fragile. When I pick him up and put his face to hers she gives him kisses, hugs, and just generally gets happy. She's such an amazing big sister.

Lately she's started to full on run very fast, jump with both feet, dance more, climb more, and try to help me with getting dressed and undressed. She knows when she needs a diaper change and is getting to the point where we can start with the potty. She starts daycare next week, which the SLP suggested to help with her speech. I think she's going to love it and she'll learn from other kids as well. Plus right now she gets too much TV since I have to take care of Andrew, so she'll get a lot more outside time and special activities. She's just such a joy to be around and I'm so blessed to be her mother!



Andrew is doing well. He's almost ten weeks old and up to 8lb 4oz. He can roll front to back! He holds his head up pretty well, too. He does not sleep very well. He's small, and he should only be 3 weeks old, and sometimes he acts like it. He's very sleepy, so he'll start eating and fall asleep before he gets enough, so he's hungry again in two hours. I'm exhausted because I don't get much sleep at night, but I'm getting used to it. I started back at work today and I'm still awake, so that's a positive. I think when he gets a little bigger he'll sleep OK. I do hope it's soon because I could use 3-4 hours at a time instead of 2. Unfortunately, like Evie, he has reflux. It was also causing trouble as he'd thrash and scream while eating and it hurt too much to take a decent amount of food. We started him on Zantac, and he's been doing much better.

It sucks so much to be away from my kids after spending so much time with them, but I know Evie is going to benefit so much from daycare, and it makes me appreciate being with them when I get home even more.

2 Years

Yesterday was Evangeline's second birthday. I cannot believe my daughter is 2. The truth is, she and her brother are the best things that ever happened to me. I love them more than I could ever express in words. Evie is just the most beautiful, sweet, smart, funny little girl I've ever met, and I can't believe how quickly the last two years have gone by. She's my best friend, and I am so lucky that I was chosen to be her mommy. When I look at her, everything that happened to lead us here makes sense. God's timing makes sense. Because she was meant for us, and we were meant for her. That's the only way I can explain it. Here are a few pictures of my sweet baby.

And as a little update, Andrew is doing well. We're not getting a lot of sleep, but it could be worse. He's so sweet and is just such a good baby. I'm still adjusting to having two kids, but it's really been better than I imagined it could be.

Still In The NICU

I can't believe it's been over two weeks since Andrew was born. It's insane how quickly the time is going by. He is still in the hospital. He's been doing great, but he's small, so he has trouble gaining weight and maintaining his temperature at the same time. He's been in a crib instead of the isolette the last few days, though, and still gaining a little, so we're headed in the right direction. I just want him home so badly. He's such a sweet boy. He just sleeps and squirms and eats and poops. He almost never cries or fusses. We're so blessed to have him, and also that he's done so well. He hasn't had a feeding tube or anything. He's just little. I'm staying with my parents right now because the house had stairs which were painful, and because he works and I can't lift Evie right now. With the C-section I just couldn't chase her like I needed to. I'm going home in a few days. It's been so odd that I have been sleeping well and such. Like.. I have a new baby. I should be sleep deprived! I know I will be when he gets home. He needs to eat every 3 hours since he's so small. We can't just let him eat when he is hungry or he'll sleep through his feedings. I'm trying to enjoy the sleep while I can get it.

Here are the latest photos of Andrew with daddy, me, and being held by his mom-mom just chillin'. He doesn't look as small to me in pictures as he does in real life, but trust me, he's small. Though he is up to 4lb 10.5oz!

Birth Story

It has been almost a week now since Andrew was born at 33w 4d. I'd been in and out of the hospital a few times, and we knew my run as a pregnant lady was coming to an end. 

I got up on Monday morning (1/13) and I didn't feel well. My BP was high, and I knew I needed to see the OB anyway, so I made an appointment for that afternoon. I finished working, and went met my mother at the office. Andy was home with Evie but we figured I'd end up at the hospital so she wanted to come with me. He sent me straight away, and they decided pretty immediately that they were going to admit me because my BP was out of control and my kidney function had declined way too much in two weeks. They gave me steroids and tried to buy 24 hours to get Andrew time to get the full effect of the medicine. They scheduled the c-section for Wednesday at 4:30, but in the middle of the night they woke me up and told me they wanted to do it at 7:30AM instead. Andy couldn't get there by then, but the nurse said she guessed my numbers were getting worse and worse, so they moved it up. I told them I would not do it without my husband, so we waited until Andy arrived. He had to wait for my parents to come to watch Evie, so he got there at 10, and they immediately had him change and wheeled me back.

They didn't want me to go through labor and put any extra stress on my kidneys, so we went straight to a c-section. It went much better than last time. The anesthesiologist was great, and it only took 1 try to get the spinal in, and I could breathe. I actually got to pay attention to what was happening, and he was very responsive and able to stop my nausea when I told him I felt sick. It didn't take long to get little Andy out, and he started crying which made me happy. I asked Andy how little the baby was and he said "He's pretty small"! He went with the nurse to take pictures of him, but he only got to stay a few minutes because they had to hook him up to all the machines, so he came back to sit with me. That was nice because it started to get so uncomfortable so he let me squeeze his hand and talked me through it. He kept telling me how well I was doing, and at one point the doctor said "OK I'm putting your uterus back". Uhm.. ok... great to know it was out. But I knew it was getting close to done. The worst was getting my tubes tied. It was hard to sign a paper that said "I consent to be sterilized" but we knew it was the right thing to do. We can't risk another pregnancy. the procedure was extremely uncomfortable. It felt like they were just pushing my organs around. 

Once they finished they wheeled me into post-op, and I got to recover there for a bit before moving to my room and puking all over myself. But that happened last time, too. I couldn't get over to see little Andy that day because I couldn't move and had a catheter, so I just slept and saw him the next day. At that point we had discovered that my kidney function was still getting worse, and my BP was not leveling out. It was consistently 200/100 and my creatinine continued to go up for a few days. Finally with a ton of extra medicine we got my BP to stabilize, and my kidney function stopped getting worse, though it's really terrible now. At this point, with me, we are just waiting to see how my kidneys shake out in a few weeks. We are hoping my body realizes I'm no longer pregnant and I gain a little function back, but only time will tell.

As for Andy, he's great! The doctor warned of "wimpy white boy" syndrome. Apparently caucasian males have the most trouble when born premature, but he's been defying the odds. He was on CPAP for one night, but then he didn't need it anymore. He also pulled out his feeding tube so they just let him eat from a bottle and he did it. His IV came out today, and the only thing he still needs to do is gain weight so he can regulate his temperature. He's only 4lb 3oz right now, so he needs some fat so he can stay warm. He's spending most of his time just sleeping away happily in his isolette. 

It was so hard to leave him today. I cried and Andy held me. I get to see him every day, but it's hard to leave him in a hospital when I could spend most of his feedings with him in my arms and I can't now. But it was also hard to be away from Evie, and it's nice to get to hold and comfort and love on her again. I'm going to see little Andy in the morning, but I just need to bring him home. I can't wait to have my family with me. Big Andy was amazing this week. He's not good with dealing with change and he really adjusted and did everything he could for me while I was terrified in the hospital. 

This is the day he was born - the day I didn't get to see him when he was on CPAP. Evie just poked and said "baby". She will understand more when he's home.

 

This is the first time I saw him. He was breathing on his own but had a feeding tube which he promptly ripped out. You can kind of get an idea of how little he was by the size of my hand. He was 4lb 7oz at birth but was closer to 4 here, and maybe a little less.

 

This is Andy yesterday. He looks like a normal-sized baby, but he's not. He also looks exactly like Evie did when she was born. I love this sweet face. I can't believe he'll be a week old tomorrow!

01/15/14

I will write more later, but for now, I wanted to let everyone know that Andrew Lee Sterlachini III was born on Wednesday, 01/15 at 10:48am weighing 4lb 7oz and 17 inches long. He was born at 33w4d. Little Andy is doing very well. He was on CPAP for one night but has been doing amazingly on room air since. He is in an isolette right now learning to regulate his temp, but he is on minimal fluids so I expect his IV to come out soon. He is drinking from a bottle like a champ, and I'm pumping but my milk still isn't in, so we are trying to nurse once a day just to get him used to it. We are incredibly blessed that he is doing so well. They say he could be here until he would have been 38 weeks but I think 2 weeks is more likely. He's just such a chill, quiet little man and we are so blessed to have him as part of our family!

I will post a birth story and info later, but I am still in the hospital. My kidney function got very bad and my BP won't stabilize but hopefully that will improve and I can leave soon. For now I'm just trying to enjoy being close to little man!