New Realities

I'm starting to feel much more connected to B2. I hope that doesn't sound terrible. I think I'm just getting over the shock of becoming an Infertility Urban Legend. Now that I've seen it and it's a real baby and every so often I can feel it move just a little, I'm getting even more excited. I find myself rubbing my belly more and planning things with a little more certainty. Like.. this is for real. I remember with Evie, things really got intense when I found out she was a girl. Something about her having a name and buying HER clothes just made me feel so connected. And I can't wait to see what this one is. To call it by name and buy it its own things. To set up its nursery!

I'm so nervous at times about what's to come. About handling being sleep deprived again. What if this baby is a horrible sleeper and doesn't do 7:30pm-8am straight like Tiny does? What if there's reflux? What if something is wrong?

But this baby is such a little miracle. Like what odds did this teeny tot overcome to be here? A brain tumor, infertility, kidney disease, timing... but here it is, growing like crazy, giving me heartburn and completing our little family. I'm just kind of in awe of how things came together/are coming together and it's cool. I'm so blessed to have this happen. To feel another baby inside doing its thing. I know this sounds weird, but I've always thought it would be SO hard to love another baby like I love Evie. And honestly, I still think that. But it gets a little easier to wrap my head around every day and I can't wait to hold this sweet one in February!