Thoughts

I'm pretty sure that Evangeline is officially a toddler. She's started having little tantrums (especially when she's outside and I want her to hold my hand!) and crying over ridiculous things. Last night my husband took her in her bedroom to change her diaper, and the went INSANE when she got in the room. She ended up peeing all over herself, needing a bath, and crying through the whole thing. Tantrum crying. Even after I got home and took over. Usually mommy fixes everything! Not so. This time Jake and the Neverland Pirates fixed it. Really she just thought she was going to bed and was having NO parts of it. Such is life with a toddler! I used to think that "Reasons my son is crying" blog was silly. But no. They really go nuts over the most insane little things.

I think by some inate ability, I'm able to keep calmer than Andy. I'm not the most patient person, but with Evie it's a different story. It takes so much to get me frustrated, so most of the time she's so, so good for me. Andy thinks it's because I'm her mom, but I think a lot of it is because usually it's so easy for me to be calm and relaxed and focused on nothing but what's going to make my baby happy. That's not to say I'm perfect by any means. I'm human, and she is a toddler. And sometimes I feel like I would pay serious money if it would get her to just sit in the bath tub. Or not throw the paper towels on the ground. But there's something about that sweet face. My husband's patience has grown exponentially since E was a tiny tot. I think sometimes since he's staying at home right now, by the end of the day he's pretty tense. But... it's not always easy!

We're leaving tomorrow morning for a week at the beach. I'm pretty excited about it. My parents and my brother and SIL will be there, too. My parents agreed to watch Evie two nights so Andy and I can go out. We don't get a lot of those opportunities. Especially with another baby on the way. I'm planning to cherish this week like no other. It's weird to think it will be our last vacation as a family of three. It's kind of really our first. To think this year will be the last Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Halloween with only 1 baby to shower with love (and presents).

Things are OK on the baby front. We're trying to pick yet another new OB because the other one delivers at a hospital far from my house. Given as many times as I needed to be in the hospital last time, and the possibility of hospital bed rest, I want to be at the hospital close by. I don't think my heart could stand being so far from Evie that she couldn't visit a lot. I'll be 12 weeks on Saturday and it's such a cool thing to be almost into the 2nd tri. Only a little over a week to go! I just need to get to 24 and then take each day as it comes. Halfway there on Sunday.

Lately I've been thinking B2 might be a girl. I hope, for Andy, that it's a boy, but I'd love a girl. I want him to have his boy to do his baseball thing with though. I was wrong with Evie, so really we'll just have to wait and see. I should have some good pictures after the 26th. I have my NT then, which I have to go to alone, but I'm still excited about.

For the time being, I just plan to shower this little sweetheart with love and fun. She was at the beach when she was 6 months, but it's not the same. This time she can run around and play. She can ride rides and win things and eat Boardwalk food. I hope she loves it as much as I do because I think we'll probably go every year.

For now, have some photos of my sweet little tiny. She still loves swings, and her giant jellyfish, Bloop-Bloop. The shopping cart picture was the result of me asking for a photo. She pulled out her barrette and started playing in her hair. Perhaps modeling is not in our future. She sure is cute enough though.

11w2d and a Surprise Ultrasound

Today I am 11w2d with baby 2. I've decided I need to switch OB offices. I wanted Andy and Evie to hear B's heartbeat, so we all went, but E's a rambunctious toddler, and it took them 45 minutes past my appointment time to see me, so Andy had to take E out to the car. She hadn't napped so he drove her around. Meanwhile, 4 people that got in after me went back. When I did get back there, they told me I needed to come back in 2 weeks instead of 4 because my BP was up (because I was livid) and I had a lot of protein in my urine. Here's how that conversation went:

NP: You have a lot of protein in your urine this time. 4+.

Me: Yes. I always do.

NP: You didn't have any last time.

Me: Yes I did.

NP: Gives me a dirty look.

I'm sorry your nurses are incompetent, but I had protein. I always have protein. Thousands and thousands of mg. I had 5000 in the 24 hour urine I'd done just prior to that appointment. So unless Jesus Christ came down and decided it was time for me to have 1 random clean dipstick test out of the hundreds I've done in the last 5 years, your nurse read the wrong person's results, or did a DIPSTICK test wrong. Then the nurse asked what meds I was on. I said Aldomet (a very common bp med for pregnancy). She had no idea what it was. They use Labetelol, which is a class C drug, whereas Aldomet is a B. So they go to do the doppler and can't find B's heartbeat. And I'm a worrier, but I just sat there, half expecting it because E's was always tough to find, and these people are idiots. They took me to the ultrasound room, where they have one decades-old machine. At 11 weeks I could see B and its little heartbeat, but it just looked like a blob because the machinery is so awful. And of course, Andy and E missed it because it took so damn long to get me back there. So I'm super glad B is ok, but the whole appointment sucked, and I'm switching to a new practice. There's one down the street from work that uses the same high risk OB and my friend raves about them, so we'll give it a try. Oh, and apparently the other practice has a doctor with a lawsuit against him pending. I just don't trust people who can't do a urine dipstick to take care of me during a high risk pregnancy. Nope nope nope. So hopefully the new place is better!

17 Months/9w3d

First of all, it's difficult to wrap my brain around the fact that my daughter is 17 months old. She's such a little ball of energy and personality. And she's SO good. I just feel like all the problems I have had in life were me pre-paying my dues to be gifted and blessed with this sweet angel. So here's what she's up to lately:

- Walking and running. This child wants to go where she wants to go. She doesn't need "things" to play with if she's outside. She's happy just having the grass under her feet. We went for a walk on Monday and she didn't want to hold my hand so I had to carry her. Toddler tantrum ensues lol. She just loves being free.

- I went on my first business trip and she did well, but when I came home she wouldn't let me out of her sight for a week. It's been 3 weeks and she still goes through a period every day where she wants me to hold her constantly. Normally she's extremely independent.

- Her language skills are amazing. She can say mama, dada, hi, no, kitty, bubble, ball, baby, dog, bye, mom-mom, popi (her grandpa), and some others. The other day she pointed to an owl and said "Look daddy!". She puts words together "Hi daddy", "Bye Popi". When I was carrying her to the car and she wanted to be down I swear she said "I WALK!" And she understands pretty much everything I say. She wanted no parts of holding my hand that day, so before I got her out of the car at Walmart I said "Evie I want to let you walk but you MUST hold my hand. It's dangerous. If you try to pull away, I have to carry you". So of course she was perfect on the walk in.

- Her attention span is growing. She sits in our laps for whole books and tv shows. Bubble Guppies is still her favorite.

- She's pointing things out. If you ask her where the ball is in a picture, she can point to it.

- She's still obsessed with the water, and now she loves tumbling. She will do actual somersaults on her own.

- She can go up and down stairs by herself, but we still have to be right there because sometimes she forgets and tries to step right off.

Here are some pictures of my sweet girl:

Aaaaand I'm 9w3d with B2. Morning sickness is annoying, but MUCH better than with Evie. We have vacation in a few weeks and then the NT scan. My BP isn't great, so I'm on meds, but.. just hoping to get to 32 weeks right now. And hopefully far beyond.

7W 2D

Well it was an interesting few days. I had my first OB appointment yesterday and they tried an abdominal ultrasound. She said she thought she saw "something" but no heartbeat yet. Of course this terrified me, so I asked her to send me to get a transvaginal ultraound. The OB's machine was SO old I was hoping that was the problem. Fortunately, it WAS. We could see B2 on the abdominal at Advanced Radiology. With its little heart beating away. The transvaginal showed one little guy in there with a really strong heartbeat of 154! I measured 7w once, and 7w2d the second time, which is exactly right. So YAY!!! And here's a picture of B2. He looks like a duck with a beachball on his bill, but he's SO CUTE.

Almost 7 Weeks Questions

Weekly Questionaire. Late! How Far Along? I think 6w5d Total Weight Gain/Loss: Not a clue Maternity Clothes: Yes. I'm super bloated so my pants don't fit right. Symptoms: Nausea, stuffy nose, fatigue, sciatica Stretch Marks: No new ones yet Belly Button In/Out: In Sleep: Good. I wake up to pee a lot, but I'm able to sleep pretty deeply. Best Moment Last Week: Probably throwing up this morning. It just makes it feel like things are moving along in there. I hope they are. Food Cravings: Crescent rolls. Food Aversions: Nothing in specific. I know it when I smell it. Gender: Dunno Labor Signs: Uh no What I Miss: Liquor, but only because we went out to dinner every night of my business trip and everyone had neat drinks! What I Am Looking Forward to: Monday! I have my first appointment and hopefully I'll get to see what's happening in there. Milestones: Official morning sickness return!

6+1

Yep. That's a lot of bloat. I look 5 months along!

Thoughts on Baby 2

I'm still reeling a little bit from last week's news. Sometimes it's so hard to wrap my head around the fact that we defied so many odds by getting pregnant on our own. We're getting more and more excited as the days go by, but I remember more things that make me nervous, too. Since we weren't planning on transferring another embryo until at least around February (when this baby is due), I'm behind on my leave. I borrowed leave to take time off for Evie and I haven't paid it all back yet. And we have to think about daycare since my mom can't run around after 2 tiny babies. I mean E will be 2, but that's not an age where she can just sit in her room and play quietly for very long. E will be young enough that we'll need a double stroller still. It's just a lot of things we weren't prepared to have to think about yet. And please don't take that as a complaint. I'm thrilled and nervous about this baby. I want it to be OK and it's so early I'm worrying like crazy already. I just keep hoping and praying everything is alright.

My kidneys weren't ready, either. We were going to talk to my nephrologist this month about what's next, and where another baby may fit into out plans, with the understanding that he might say it doesn't at all. I am 30lb lighter than when I got pregnant with E, which is great. I hope that mitigates some of the issue. But I have no idea what to expect. I emailed him today and I see him on the 19th. Hopefully he'll be able to ease my mind a little. I really have no idea.

My symptoms have been pretty mild so far. Mostly I've been having issues with smells. I had some nausea on Friday but it's been mild since then. Which of course makes me worried. But my boobs are still hurting and I'm still extremely tired, so I'm trying not to worry myself. With Evie I didn't get real nausea until 5w3d, and I didn't throw up until 6w4d. Which of course means I'll be in IL and on an airplane if this pregnancy takes the same path. Maybe it won't be quite so bad this time but only time will tell.

I've been having fun looking at maternity things and baby stuff. Even though we have most of what we need, I need a toddler bed for E and a dresser, clothes if baby 2 is a boy, and I need a few things to supplement my pregnancy wardrobe. I have to look nicer at work than I did when I was pregnant with E, so even though it's the same season (baby 2 should arrive about a week before E's birthday) I need a few more things.

The other thing is my pants are already tight!!! What is that!? I think it's just because I've been SUPER thirsty and drinking like it's my job so I'm probably bloated with all of that fluid intake. I mean I can't have gained much since Wednesday. I was losing weight and I'm not eating THAT horrible. But I'll be wearing a lot of dresses for the rest of the summer. Pants are uncomfortable!

Really I'm just feeling blessed to be here again. Who knows if the docs would have ever signed off on another baby. This is a true miracle for us.